Tonight I was biking home from play practice around 9p.m. I was very happy and singing (very loudly) to my ipod. I am really loving “Pink” right now. I was on a pretty busy road and about a mile from home. Up ahead of me I saw the lights of a little motorized scooter turn and go onto the sidewalk. I couldn’t figure out what the driver was doing. I rode past him and nodded as I went by. Then I noticed there was a dead cat in the middle of the road. I flipped around on my bike, reached down and grabbed the cat before the next flow of traffic came through. Quickly I set it down on the sidewalk and popped my bike over the curb. It was a beautiful male black and white cat, it’s body was still warm. The scooter guy came running over and asked if it was still alive. I said “it’s gone”. He let out a slight moan of sadness and told me that he had a couple of cats at home that he was quite fond of. I shared with him I had four of my own as well.
There was no collar on the cat, so I offered to take it to my house in my bike basket and bury it. He seemed very relieved, “your a good soul” he said. I asked him what his name was and he said Ross. Gently I put the cat in my basket. Ross and I shook hands and I rode away. Instantly I started sobbing. It was a good cry. I was thinking of my dad who passed away in March. By the time I made the drive to Mountain Home after he died he was already cold. I miss his warmth.
When I got home my cats came running up as they always do. They saw the dead cat and started acting funny…meowing and running around. I told them that it had been ran over by a car and I was going to bury it. By my garden I dug a hole and softly lied the cat in it. I almost started crying while filling up the hole, but the tears didn’t come. My cats sniffed at the dirt around the hole for a minute and then went on their way.
I realized tonight that sorrow and sadness are a blessing. They are feelings that need to be honored and embraced just as much as happiness and joy. Granted I would prefer to have more happy than sad, but being able to feel is wonderful. I had a friend post today on facebook that I am passionate about life and I am. I am just as passionate when I feel sorrow as I am when I feel joy.
Thank you Russ for being there with me, who knows if our paths will ever cross again.