the gift of sorrow

Tonight I was biking home from play practice around 9p.m. I was very happy and singing (very loudly) to my ipod. I am really loving “Pink” right now. I was on a pretty busy road and about a mile from home. Up ahead of me I saw the lights of a little motorized scooter turn and go onto the sidewalk. I couldn’t figure out what the driver was doing. I rode past him and nodded as I went by. Then I noticed there was a dead cat in the middle of the road. I flipped around on my bike, reached down and grabbed the cat before the next flow of traffic came through. Quickly I set it down on the sidewalk and popped my bike over the curb. It was a beautiful male black and white cat, it’s body was still warm. The scooter guy came running over and asked if it was still alive. I said “it’s gone”. He let out a slight moan of sadness and told me that he had a couple of cats at home that he was quite fond of. I shared with him I had four of my own as well.

There was no collar on the cat, so I offered to take it to my house in my bike basket and bury it. He seemed very relieved, “your a good soul” he said. I asked him what his name was and he said Ross. Gently I put the cat in my basket. Ross and I shook hands and I rode away. Instantly I started sobbing. It was a good cry. I was thinking of my dad who passed away in March. By the time I made the drive to Mountain Home after he died he was already cold. I miss his warmth.

When I got home my cats came running up as they always do. They saw the dead cat and started acting funny…meowing and running around. I told them that it had been ran over by a car and I was going to bury it. By my garden I dug a hole and softly lied the cat in it. I almost started crying while filling up the hole, but the tears didn’t come. My cats sniffed at the dirt around the hole for a minute and then went on their way.

I realized tonight that sorrow and sadness are a blessing. They are feelings that need to be honored and embraced just as much as happiness and joy. Granted I would prefer to have more happy than sad, but being able to feel is wonderful. I had a friend post today on facebook that I am passionate about life and I am. I am just as passionate when I feel sorrow as I am when I feel joy.

Thank you Russ for being there with me, who knows if our paths will ever cross again.

Vic

Published byCrazybananalady

I am a transformational coach. I help people find the truth inside of themselves to live a peaceful and content life.

4 Comments

  • Russell

    September 22, 2011 at 5:54 pm Reply

    I actually passed that same cat on the way home from rehearsal as well. I felt saddened that it had lost its life in such a violent manner, but I also realized that his spirit, energy, chi, whatever you want to call it, is moving on and felt somewhat happy for it.

    Also, you’re welcome, though I think you’re thanking Ross and not Russ.

    • vibrantvictoria

      September 23, 2011 at 12:05 am Reply

      thanks to you as well Russ…not Ross 🙂

  • Herban

    October 1, 2011 at 6:46 pm Reply

    Vic,
    I noticed when I became more and more healthy that I also became more compassionate and much more emotional. I would find myself crying at movies or books I was reading. I consider myself a strong, macho type person, but I don’t hold back when I feel like crying. It feels like an emotional release when I’m done. It feels healthy.

    • Vibrant Victoria

      October 1, 2011 at 6:57 pm Reply

      I used to hold in my tears and not let cry when I felt like crying…then when I would cry it would be huge and overwhelming. I love just letting it out at the moment now. It comes in short bursts that don’t even last that long, then I feel happy again 🙂

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