Last night I felt the grief I’d been feeling from my friends death leave me. I became peaceful in knowing that everything is as it is supposed to be. I also realized that her death had nothing to do with me. My ego wanted to wallow longer in feeding the pain and loss. I was able to see that and called the ego out. I realized that I am still whole and complete without my friend being alive. I do not need to suffer in order to prove my love for her. I don’t need to understand anything. I don’t need to understand why her son no longer has a mother. I don’t need to understand why she did not live to give birth to her unborn child. I do not need to understand why her boyfriend lost his dearly beloved and unborn child. All I need to do it be ok with what is without answers.
One of the fears that surfaced during grieving was the fear of change. When someone we love dies, we have a space left open that we held for them. We resist not having that person alive to fill “their” space. When really we are all one and no one ever leaves us because they are us.
There is a shift, a change that happens. We are reminded that we and all the other people we love are going to leave our bodies. Our bodies are mortal but our bodies are not who we are. We are immortal. Death is not an end, it is a change. A change for the people that die and a change for those still in their bodies. Change is inevitable and is only frightening when it is resisted. When we release resistance to change, any change, then we release suffering. When we stop resisting, we flow with ease and live effortlessly and we die effortlessly.
I am grateful for random thoughts.
I appreciate rain.
I appreciate clothes on the line.
I appreciate smiles.
I appreciate bananas.
I appreciate faith.
Thank you for being a part of my life.
I appreciate you!
p.s. Breakfast: 16oz. Cucumber, apple, celery juice. 16oz. watermelon juice.
Snack: coconut probiotic.
Lunch: 64oz banana, strawberry and coconut water smoothie.
Snack: 32 oz. fresh pineapple juice blended with mango and banana.
Dinner: salad with lettuce, arugula, broccoli, beats, flax seeds, blueberries and a sprouted chia seed dressing (from juiceland)