Day off

Today’s Intentional Transformation: The moment does not have a beginning or end; no past or future. It is always available now.

Dear Diary and Friends,

I am taking another day off from my blog. It was a cold rainy day today. I walked 2 hours in the rain this morning and it was absolutely lovely. I feel incredibly blessed to be able to walk so much. Angel took a 4 hour nap which I don’t think she has ever done before. I wonder if she will ever go to bed tonight. Lol.

My mom called today and she might come visit at the beginning of December. I would enjoy that.

My 17 year old daughter usually does not want me to post pictures of her but I got permission to post today’s. She is a wonderful young woman and I love her dearly. I’m grateful to be her momma.

I appreciate long walks.

I appreciate apples.

I appreciate rain.

I appreciate meditation.

I appreciate story time at the library.

I appreciate gifts.

Thank you for being a part of my life.

I appreciate you!

Gratefully yours,

Victoria

Angel Baby Meets a Hedgehog

Today’s Intentional Transformation: whatever is happening in the moment is reality. Everything else is thoughts and thoughts are not real.

Dear Diary and Friends,

I am hope late from game night tonight, where Angel got to see a hedgehog for the first time. She was a little bit leery of it. Lol.

I will not be writing a blog. There is a fun video of Angel dancing below.

I appreciate game night.

I appreciate laughter.

I appreciate dancing.

I appreciate my truck.

I appreciate fresh oj.

I appreciate the color blue.

I appreciate sisters bonding.

Thank you for being a part of my life.

I appreciate you!

Sleepily yours,

Victoria

What If There Are No Answers

Today’s Intentional Transformation: are you more in love with your beliefs or are you more in love with the truth.

Dear Diary and Friends,

I have come to an awareness, through meditation and reading and listening to spiritual leaders, that there are no answers to the big questions. Why are we here? What is our purpose? Who are we? What does it all mean? The answers are that there is no purpose or meaning. Everything just is. We just are. We are living in rented temporary bodies, thinking temporary thoughts and doing temporary things. Are we supposed to expand and grow and become better people? I don’t know. Grow or just be? Become better than what or who? Who defines what is better? Who sets the standards? Are my beliefs any more right or valid than anyone else’s beliefs? Are my thoughts superior to anyone else’s thoughts? Do I know what’s right more than anyone else? Life goes on whether we think thoughts or not.

The only thing that is real is the moment. Everything else is thoughts and thoughts are not real. (Oh! I think that will be my intention tomorrow). What’s real for me right now is I am lying in the guest bed where I am house sitting. I am perfectly warm. I feel tired. Angel is sleeping in her red cloth wagon next to the bed. I hear traffic from the highway in the distance. I hear me typing my blog. I am typing my blog. That is all I know. Anything that happened a minute ago is not real anymore. Anything that will happen in the next minute does not exist yet. None of those questions matter because there is only now.

I appreciate long bicycle rides.

I appreciate real phone conversations.

I appreciate talking to people.

I appreciate acceptance.

I appreciate challenges.

I appreciate my belly.

I appreciate Oliver the dog.

I appreciate running water.

I appreciate consulting clients.

I appreciate Airbnb.

I appreciate the downtown association.

Thank you for being a part of my life.

I appreciate you!

Lovingly yours,

Victoria

Memoir: My First Hitchhiking Experience

Today’s Intentional Transformation: Don’t take life so seriously. Be lighthearted.

Dear Diary and Friends,

The year was 1986, I was 16 years old and full of sass. I looked very young and innocent for my age, that helped me get away with things that other kids usually didn’t get away with. I wanted to live life on my terms and was sick of following all the rules. I was a sophomore and Boise High School. I did well in school academically but I couldn’t stand most of the other students.

One warm fall day I decided to leave school during the lunch hour. I just wanted to get away. I wanted freedom. I started walking west down state street, which is a busy commercial business road that eventually turns into highway 44. I thought about where I wanted to walk. Since I was already headed that direction I concluded that I would walk to a small town 30 miles outside of Boise called Middleton. I had lived there from ages 11 to 13 and I had loved it there. I still had friends there and figured I would visit them when I got there. I hadn’t thought about how long it would take me to walk there and I didn’t really care. I also hadn’t thought about the 1/2 size too small jelly shoes I was wearing and the fact that I was already starting to get blisters from them. It was a warm fall day and I had on a black sweater dress that fell just above my knees.

I was walking along at a good pace when a red truck pulled up to the corner in front of me. As I walked in front of the truck a heavy man with greying red hair rolled down his window and asked if I needed a ride. I told him I was going to Middleton. He said he would give me a ride there. So despite being told to never get into a car with a stranger, I got in.

On the drive, he asked me about my life. How old I was, where I went to school, why I was going to Middleton, etc. I didn’t feel scared of him in any way  and answered all his questions. He told me he had a daughter my age and talked about her some. Then he told me he would give me $50 if I had sex with him. I told him no. Then he said since I was so young and pretty he would give me $100. Again I said no. There was no way I wanted to have sex with this guy no matter how much money he offered me. He was the same age as my dad and in my mind that was just gross.

After my 2nd refusal, the guy pulled over and told me to get out. I was more than happy to get out. He drove off and I continued walking to Middleton. I was only about 3 miles away. When I arrived in the town I waited outside the high school until school was out. Then I found my friend Donna and we went to a guys house named Kelly. He was friends with my ex boyfriend Duane, who I still liked but we lived too far apart to really date. Both him and Duane were there. We all smoked some weed. Duane was working on a car. I sat and watched him, crushing on his cuteness.  Then it started to get dark and Kelly offered to drive me home.

When I arrived at home my mom asked where I had been. I told her I had been hanging out with friends. (She didn’t really pay much attention to what I was doing. She was busy with her new husband named Dick and I thought the name fit him well.) Then I went to my room and went to bed. The next day at school I forged a note from my mom saying I had gone home sick the day before. My mom never knew I had run off to Middleton, hitchhiking on the way. Was I lucky I didn’t get raped or killed? Yes! Did I ever chance it again. Yes, many times and I was lucky every time.

Breakfast: 16oz. celery, cucumber, watermelon rind juice. 48oz. Fresh OJ. Drank over 2 hours.

Lunch: A whole bunch of raw vegan spaghetti and some spinach.

Dinner: 3 romaine hearts, tomatoes, mushrooms and yellow pepper salad with lemon tahini dressing.

Snack: 2 homemade low fat oatmeal cookies.

I appreciate memories.

I appreciate my church family.

I appreciate a fun phone conversation with my sister.

I appreciate eating my delicious raw spaghetti at the church potluck. It got raving reviews from everyone.

I appreciate baths with Angel.

I appreciate house and pet sitting.

I appreciate good books.

I appreciate my eyes.

Thank you for being a part of my life.

I appreciate you!

Lightfully yours,

Victoria

Fruitluck Day

I forgot to do an intention today. I did 30 minutes of silent meditation and 11 minutes of guided mediation when I woke up this morning.

Dear Diary and Friends,

Today was our weekly fruitluck. It was a small group but we had fun eating fruit and playing a game I brought. I forgot to get a group picture to share.

I’m taking the day off from my blog. Saturday’s are always really busy and I’m beat by the end of the day.

Breakfast: 16oz. celery, cucumber, watermelon rind juice. 16oz. fresh OJ. 24oz. banana, mango and spinach smoothie. All drank individually over a 2 hour time frame.

Lunch: one regular sized bowl of low fat raw vegan spaghetti with butternut squash noodles. Some grapes. Some pomegranate. 16oz. fresh OJ. 3 handfuls of homemade salt free kale chips. All eaten and drank individually over a 2 hour time frame.

Snack: one package of raspberries and 16oz. fresh OJ.

Supper: 24oz. fresh OJ. 2 homemade vegan oatmeal cookies.

I appreciate friends.

I appreciate weeds.

I appreciate fun phone conversations.

I appreciate fresh OJ.

I appreciate meditation.

I appreciate my legs.

I appreciate teeth.

I appreciate skin.

I appreciate the sun.

I appreciate a wonderful job.

Thank you for being a part of my life.

I appreciate you!

Dreamily yours,

Victoria

Enjoying walking and watching the full moon

Today’s Intentional Transformation: meditating daily will change your life in amazing ways.

Dear Diary and Friends,

It was a lovely evening and I enjoyed a peaceful walk, watching the full moon.

That is all for tonight.

I appreciate the moon.

I appreciate walks.

I appreciate sore feet and legs.

I appreciate incredible peace.

I appreciate love.

I appreciate the non color of white.

Thank you for being a part of my life.

I appreciate you!

Peacefully yours,

Victoria

5 Mile Walk

Today’s Intentional Transformation: Spiritual awakening happens when you stop searching for it.

Dear Diary and Friends,

This morning I walked 2 1/2 miles to get fresh produce that was being given out for free. I had plenty of time to get there, so I mosied along…singing and whistling. The weather was absolutely perfect being in the mid seventies, humid, with a nice breeze. I loved breathing the fresh air and feeling the wind whip around me. I watched the birds and soared through the skies with them. Angel rode in the wagon. She also sang and talked and enjoyed herself.

When we got there and went through the line we received a whole bunch of lettuce, bell peppers, butternut squash noodles, English cucumbers, capri tomatoes and grapefruit. It was amazing and I felt so grateful. Walking back home I had to hustle in order to get Savana to a dentist appointment on time. I was speed walking home and loving the challenge when I man hollered at me. I stopped to see what he wanted. He said that he had gotten the free produce as well and wanted to know if I wanted some of his because he wouldn’t eat it all. Heck yes!! Thank you!! He had gone through the line before me and had gotten carrots, cabbage and limes he didn’t want. So I piled them onto the wagon, which was stuffed full with Angel in a little spot in the corner. I continued my speed walk pulling a very heavy wagon. It was fun keeping up my fast pace and I made it home right on time.

I quickly put away the produce and drove to pick up Savana from school. It was nice to relax at the dentists. They had a great play room for Angel to play in while we waited for Savana. We ended up being there 2 hours. After an hour and a half I was freezing cold from the a/c. So Angel and I went outside. Angel was glad to outside and she had fun trying to climb the light poles. I swear that child is going to be an acrobat.

Shortly after we got home from Savana’s appointment the plumber showed up to fix the leak under the bathroom sink. While he was doing that, Charlie was in the backyard digging out the falling down clothesline posts so they could be straightened and reset with more concrete. I helped Charlie get the line loose. Then rested on the coach for a while. Angel played with Oliver (the dog I’m pet sitting). The plumber finish fixing the leak, yay! Then Charlie finished setting the clothesline posts, yay! Success!

I walked to Oliver’s house when it was starting to get dark. Angel fell asleep on the way. I got Oliver settled and went to bed myself. Yay! My blog is written and I am ready for bed before 8pm. Now it’s meditation time. 😊

I appreciate long walks.

I appreciate stamina.

I appreciate straight clothes line posts.

I appreciate free fresh produce.

I appreciate plumbers.

I appreciate early bedtime.

I appreciate banana, strawberry, spinach smoothies.

I appreciate perfect weather.

I appreciate the color black.

Thank you for being a part of my life.

I appreciate you!

Gratefully yours,

Victoria

I Love Mediation

Today’s Intentional Transformation: let go of the fear of what others say and think about you. It has nothing to do with you, it is about how they feel about themselves.

Dear Diary and Friends,

I am enjoying meditation so much lately. More than I’ve ever enjoyed it before. It is still kind of torture to sit in stillness and silence but in a good way. Lol. I’ve reached a depth of peace that I’ve never felt before. That’s always fun! Even when challenges come up, sometimes they still catch onto me, but then I’m ok with that too. I notice that I have been caught in my own mental snare and I find it humorous.

Today in meditation I practiced switching my awareness between my thoughts and what I was hearing outside of myself. So awareness inside, then awareness outside. After awhile, I could see how they were the same. They were both simply awareness.

Snags I got caught in today:

1. The pipes started leaking under my bathroom sink. In the process of me trying to fix it, I made a big mess. Messes seem to snag me easily. I waited all day for the landlord to send a plumber. Finally I called and let the landlord know, I had someone else that would try to fix it. Then that person tried to fix it, made a mess. Snag! It still leaked. So I called the landlord again and supposedly a plumber will be coming mañana. So I let it go, it will get fixed when it’s supposed to be fixed and life is messy.

2. At community choir practice there was an alto solo in one of the songs. I was excited and volunteered to sing it. I haven’t sang a solo in a long time. That idea was immediately shut down by another choir member who decided she would sing it. Snag! I was irritated. Thought about quitting choir over it. Lol. Oh my! I crack myself up! You sing it girl..it’s all yours.

3. A regular guest that stays at my house likes to tell me and everyone else in the house how to live their lives. It used to not bother me at all because I know it has nothing to do with me and is all about her. The last couple of times she has stayed, I have gotten all snagged up and allowed her to drive me crazy. Tonight I literally ran out my own front door to get away from her yammering and trying to stop me from going on a walk because she thought walking wasn’t “safe”. Hahahaha. That must have been a funny sight! I wasn’t about to not go on my evening walk! Tomorrow I will have a talk with her.

Now I’m off to bed. Yay! More mediation time!

breakfast: 32oz. Cucumber, celery, watermelon rind juice. 16oz. Fresh oj.

Lunch: 64oz mangos blended with fresh oj.

dinner: big salad. Spinach, carrots, mushrooms, tomatoes. Sunflower, lemon juice, dill, garlic dressing.

I appreciate meditation.

I appreciate laughing at myself.

I appreciate awareness.

I appreciate messes.

I appreciate grace.

I appreciate walks.

I appreciate community choir.

I appreciate dog sitting.

I appreciate surprise texts.

I appreciate the sun rising everyday.

Thank you for being a part of my life.

I appreciate you!

Peacefully yours,

Victoria

Healthy Halloween

Today’s Intentional Transformation: Lose the belief in separation.

Dear Diary and Friends,

Happy Halloween!

This morning after yoga and mediation. Angel and I walked to city hall to participate in a raffle drawing put on by the music club. 

It was a cooler day, in the mid 60’s. The walk was delightful. I whistled as we walked and basked in feeling connected with everything around me. We left early, so we had plenty of time to stop and look at things along the way.

We arrived a half hour early. I payed my w/s/t bill while I was there. Yay! I love paying my bills and feeling grateful for the luxury of all the services I receive…like running water. Soon people started to arrive from the music club. It’s a light hearted fun loving group and I enjoyed having fun and laughing with them until it was time for the drawing. After it was over, we had a lovely walk back home. 

Halloween evening was a lot of fun this year. I found Angel a bee costume at the thrift store a month or so ago. It cost a dollar I believe, if I remember right. Since I would be at George’s on Halloween this year, him and his girlfriend Peggy really wanted to have Angel dress up and go trick or treating. Even though I’m not really a holiday person and it seems that most holidays center around unhealthy “food” of one kind or another, I still usually participate and make them as healthy as possible.

I wrapped up a bunch of pecans, homemade fruit roll ups and banana chips individually in aluminum foil (so I could recycle it) and had them ready to swap out for the candy. This is the first year Angel was actually able to kind of understand how trick or treating worked. She caught on really quick, you go to people’s door and when they open it you get stuff put into your bucket. Angel thought that was great fun, she also assumed she was welcome to run into their house and check things out. Which no one seemed to mind, we will work on staying on the doorstep next year. Lol

When the trick or treating was over, I took Angel’s bucket and swapped the candy with the healthy treats. She totally knew that things were different but decided to open one of her treats to see what was in it. “Pecan!” she shouted when she got it open and happily ate it. So it went with each item she opened. Whew! That went well!

Halloween was a success!

Breakfast: 8 small persimmons 

Lunch: 8 smallish apples eaten while on a walk.

Dinner: Avocado, carrots, lettuce and cucumber. Pecans and Brazil nuts.

I appreciate creativity.

I appreciate yoga.

I appreciate persimmons.

I appreciate connection.

I appreciate Youtube.

I appreciate laughter.

I appreciate costumes.

I appreciate the color orange.

Thank you for being a part of my life.

I appreciate you!

Creatively yours,

Victoria

A Day of Rest

Today’s Intentional Transformation: Resting and being still is being productive.

Dear Diary and Friends,

I rested most of the day today. I read and laid in the sun almost all day except for a morning and evening walk. I spent very little time on my phone and facebook all day. I read fun fiction, nothing serious or life changing. It felt amazing to rest! I highly recommend it.

Breakfast: 1/2 a watermelon. Lunch: 48oz. Fresh squeezed oj. Dinner: a big bag of homemade low fat salt free kale chips.

I appreciate rest.

I appreciate a happy easily entertained toddler.

I appreciate luxury.

I appreciate faith.

I appreciate the color green.

I appreciate breathe.

I appreciate the sun.

I appreciate dog sitting.

I appreciate giving.

Thank y’all for being a part of my life.

I appreciate you!

Restfully yours,

Victoria