Days seventeen and eighteen: Friday and Saturday

Thursday night I believe I went to bed at around 9:30 and woke up on Friday at 7:30. I ate a large apple and rode 3 miles to work. At work I ate 3 more large apples and cleaned for 2 hours. I was feeling really good and strong. Nice peaceful happy thoughts. Next I rode a mile to the mall. Ate 1 lb. dates, took to bus about 6 miles, got off and rode the last 5 miles to work. Cleaned for 2 hours, was feeling really tired and weak. I kept thinking about that spaghetti sauce I made the night before at my last clients house. I knew there were still some leftovers in the fridge. I wanted to eat it when I went there next. Right before I left the house I was currently cleaning my client gave me three small cherry tomatoes, the first of their crop that they had just picked out of their garden. Those three little tomatoes tasted so incredibly good, they were still warm from the sun and they burst in my mouth, oooohhh…sooo delicious….and all of a sudden my spaghetti cravings were gone. A little light went on in my head and I realized that it was the tomatoes I had been craving all along. My body wanted tomatoes not processed spaghetti sauce. Yay! More understanding my body’s language.
On the 6 mile ride to my last clients house I felt so wonderful. It was 100 degrees out, the sweat was pouring off me and I felt like I was invincible. What was even better was when I passed a sprinkler that sprayed me, I swear I could hear the water sizzle on my skin and it was the most amazing feeling. I was in full thriving mode and I knew that this is why I eat this way. This is why I crave health…just to experience the wonderful feeling of thriving. I started laughing and crying at the same time. I was in a full swing zone of health and vitality. Then as I kept biking I realized that I had brought into my life some negative energy lately and I needed to get it out. I had signed up on a dating web site called “plenty of fish” a couple of months ago. On the web site I was very clear about what I was looking for, but I swear none of the people that responded were anything close to what I was looking for and I doubt they even read what I wrote. I think they just looked at my picture and called it good. Everyone that talked to me on there had health problem, were needy, unhappy, etc. I was getting nothing positive from being on this web site and tons of negativity. Besides I am so totally happy being single, why do I want to date? So I decided that the dating web site needed to go…and it did…and I feel great about it.
So, back to arriving at my last job of the day. I made a 12 banana, head of red leaf lettuce smoothie, drank it and cleaned for two hours…(no cooking today..they were going out for dinner). I rode the last mile home. Sat outside in my lawn chair and talked with Jonathan. Ate one very small avocado and 5 large tomatoes. I was still in a very happy place, but was extremely tired. Jonathan kept talking to me about conspiracy theories and the “new world order” . It was causing my happy zone to fade so I told him I needed some alone time. When he left at 8. I got naked, crawled into bed and finished reading “Hunza Land”, which is a fantastic read!! Very beautiful, healthy people. Then I went to sleep at around 8:30…it was a blissful 92 degrees in my house.
Woke up on Saturday at 7. Still felt tired. I ate 1/2 a watermelon for breakfast and had severe heartburn. Rode 3 miles to work, my heartburn had faded by then and I cleaned for 2 hours. Ate .25 lb. of dates and rode 3 miles to a fruit stand, bought a bunch of melons and rode a mile to my next job. Ate 3 melons and cleaned for 2 hours. Was really tired by this time. Very crabby about things. Wanted to stop eating all raw, was sick of fighting the cravings. Kept thinking about spaghetti again. Rode 3 miles to Bittercreek restaurant went in and had 2 large glasses of fresh squeezed OJ, 32 oz. They tasted so good and I was so very grateful to have a place to go that sells fresh squeezed OJ..(thanks Dave Krick for being awesome not only does he have fresh squeezed OJ but he gives me free local organic meat scraps for my cats, by 2012 he wants to have zero waste coming from his restaurant..what a guy.) I picked up cat meat scraps and rode 1/4 mile to the co-op, bought a bunch of food for my daughter since she would be coming back from her dad’s tonight.
Rode 5 miles home and was feeling better mentally.
At home I made an 8 roma tomato, celery, romaine, 1/2 a very small avocado smoothie. It hit the spot! Did laundry, finally, I have had clothes soaking in the bathtub for 3 days and haven’t gotten to washing them. I love washing my laundry by hand, it is a form of meditation for me, the same goes for cleaning houses. After I got them all hung and looking beautiful on the clothes line I decided to open my power bill. It was so great! I only used 38 kWh the whole month, $2.66 cents worth. My service charge was higher than my power usage. Woo hoo!!! I was very excited and did a victory dance. Thank you summer!!! Hopefully by next summer I will have a solar panel and be completely off grid. My goals are falling into place 🙂

Days fifteen and sixteen

I have been very tired since I’ve arrived home from my vacation.

Wed. morning I woke up at 6. I still felt tired. I had 2 melons for breakfast and rode 1/2 a mile to my first job. I cleaned for two hours and took the bus downtown. Bought some food at the co-op. Sat on the patio and ate a pint of fresh local raspberries. They were very delicious. I biked 3 miles to my next job. Ate 8 large plums and cleaned for 2 hours. Was on my way biking to my next job and I felt so very tired. I didn’t know if I would make it the whole way. I realized that I was thirsty and it dawned on my that I didn’t drink my 3 to 4 sixteen ounce glasses of water I drink every morning. At a stop light I drank a bunch of water and instantly felt better. The rest of the 7 mile ride was great. I felt so sexy and I waved and smiled at everyone like I usually do. It was great to be back on my bike again and not stuck in a car. At my last job I had a 12 banana, 1/2 pound of spinach smoothie and cleaned/cooked for 2 hours. Rode a mile back home.
As soon as I got home I lied down for a nap at 6:30 and didn’t wake up until 4:30 the next morning.
Thursday after waking up at 4:30 I still felt a little tired, but couldn’t go back to sleep. At 6 I rode 3 miles to yoga and did 1 1/2 hours of yoga. Afterward I ate two large plums and rode 2 miles to my first job of the day. Ate that job I ate 1 lb. of dates and cleaned for 2 hours. Biked a mile and a half to my next job and cleaned for 2 hours. Rode a block away and cleaned for another 2 hours. By this time I was starting to really drag. I felt so exhausted. I ate .25 lb. more of dates felt better and biked a mile to the co-op. I bought a bunch of food for myself and my client I was going to work for next. Biked 1/4 mile to bittercreek and picked up about 20 pounds of meat for my cats. (By the way I am carrying all the groceries and the meat in my bike baskets). I rode 5 miles home and dropped off the meat. Rode one more mile to my last client of the day. I was hungry again and I knew I hadn’t eaten enough calories. I kept thinking about chips and salsa. At my clients I make a 10 banana, 1 pound of spinach smoothie. I was drinking it while I made my clients dinner. It was spaghetti and I wanted to take a little bite so bad. I felt like I was going insane with desire for that tiny little bite. I kept drinking my smoothie everytime this feeling would overcome me. I just told myself that I was low on calories and that it would all pass as soon as I got enough in me. Ate that job I cleaned/cooked for 3 1/2 hours. I finished all my smoothie and was still having cravings, but thankfully I was done and headed home. On the mile ride home the cravings were still driving me crazy. I just wanted to scream! I didn’t feel sexy today or wave and smile at everyone as much as usual. I was so inside my head that it was hard to pull myself out and live in the moment. Even when I got home I was wishing I had rice or maybe I should order a vegan pizza to be delivered. Ahhhh!!!!
I knew I was tired, had a huge day of exercise and work, and I was under carbed. I just kept reassuring myself that I was fine and reminding myself about how great my ears have felt this past week and my sinuses have been so clear and my insides have felt great and been performing perfectly.
So that is where I am at right now. I don’t know if I’m going to eat more tonight or not. I still feel full and my cravings have eased up. I am planning on going to bed early again. Tomorrow is supposed to be 101 degrees out. I can’t wait! I love the heat so much…today has been pleasantly hot as well 🙂

Days thirteen and fourteen

Woke up at around 6:30. Ate 2 melons for breakfast. Started my drive back to Idaho. Ate 1 1/4lb. dates, 1 pint strawberries, 1 lb. cherries. Arrived at my friends in Idaho Falls at around 7. Ate 1/2 watermelon and later before bed ate 1 avocado. No real exercise of any significance today. Had a great time with my friends. Went to bed at around 10:30.
Woke up at 6. Ate 1/4 watermelon. Made a 20 banana, 1/2 lb. spinach smoothie and bottled it up for the trip. My friend that I was staying with wanted to try it and she loved it. I told her about Victoria Boutenko and she called me later and told me she had been on-line reading all Victoria’s information. Very exciting!!! Anyway my friend said she wants to start having green smoothies every morning from now on 🙂
Left at 9 to finish driving to Boise. Went to craters of the moon national park and did about an hour and a half of hiking and cave exploring with Savana and my friends niece that was riding with me back to Boise. Ate a pint of raspberries and 1 lb. of strawberries. We stopped for lunch in Shoshone, Idaho where my dad grew up. I drank half of my 20 banana/spinach smoothie. Made it to Boise at about 5. Got home unloaded the car and drank the other half of my smoothie. An hour later started having cooked food cravings. I really wanted some rice, instead I ate 10 oz. of sweet baby tomatoes and my cravings went away.
Hopefully I am headed to bed soon. It’s 8:30 and I am exhausted.

Days eleven and twelve

I woke up feeling very rested. I believe it was at about 6:30. I was staying at a campground in Wall, SD. that had electricity so I took the opportunity to blend 20 very ripe banana’s with 1/2 lb. of organic mixed greens in my blender (I have no idea why I didn’t bring my hand cranked blender). It ended making almost a whole gallon which I poured into a water container to carry around with me all day.
This was the big day of my 20 year class reunion. I was excited to see everyone and I felt peaceful and happy. I didn’t know any of my class mates very well since I only went to school in Wall for my senior year, but since I went to 12 different schools growing up I really have no connections to any one school or got to know anyone very well at any of the schools I went to.
I drank about half of my banana smoothie for breakfast and it tasted so very good. Then Savana rode her scooter and I longboarded a couple blocks downtown to our meeting place. I found my classmates and we went through the parade. Afterward everyone got together for a potluck. I knew this would be a challenge for me so I drank a bunch more of my smoothie before getting there to make sure I was plenty full. At the potluck I ate a few veggies off the veggies platter. Waited a while and had some cherries that I had bought. Waited a while and had quite a bit of watermelon. It was very hard to stay strong, even my sneaky side kicked in when everyone was outside and I was alone with the food, I could just eat one piece of that hormone filled, fried to the max chicken and no one would know (other than my body!). My mind kept thinking about the chicken, potato salad and chips, but I would bring my thoughts back to health and vitality…I just looked around me and could see the visible results of eating those foods and decided I wanted no part in it. It was also a challenge talking to my classmates. In high school I was emotionally a mess, very shy and felt horrible all the time so I understood why my classmates back then were so standoffish. Now I am a cheery, happy, great conversationalist but it was a challenge to find anything to talk to with my classmates as well as get them to actually respond to me in a conversational manner. The main subjects of conversation were: getting drunk, how much they hate to exercise and what they all did together as kids. All topics that I don’t relate too. Despite all that I stayed happy and my body felt very very good.
As I was leaving I mentioned that I was going to Pine Ridge Indian Reservation to see Wounded Knee. (I had actually forgotten about the prejudice against Natives that went on in South Dakota.) My classmates were very strong in their opinions in saying how bad and dangerous a place that was and all the horrible things those people would do to me. Wow! I assured them I would be safe and as soon as I got out of that town I felt a huge weight lift off of me.
Later on in Pine Ridge everyone was very nice and no one tried to kill or rape me or my daughter. The poverty, drug use and hopelessness of those people was so very sad. I ended up camping on the land of a Lakota man that went by the name Lonewolf. That evening I ate some cherries and later I finished the last of my smoothie. About an hour before bed I ate one avocado.
I went to bed around 10:30 and woke up at 7:30. It was great to sleep in. I ate 2 melons for breakfast and headed out at 9. I drove through Custer State park and the black hills headed to Wyoming. On the drive I ate .50 lbs. of dates, 2 apples, 1 lb cherries, 2 lbs. grapes and 1 lb. of strawberries, eating each food group at least an hour apart throughout the day. I drove until around 3 p.m. and I could barely keep my eyes open. I found a park in Wright, Wy that looked really nice with a pond. I spread out a blanket, told Savana she could sit next to me and read while I slept for an hour. An hour later I woke up and felt like a whole new person.
I was almost out of food and was getting a little worried. I had stopped at a couple of small towns but they didn’t have fruit. I knew i would be ok though. At about 7:30 I made it to Riverton, WY. in the Wind River Indian Reservation, the difference in this reservation and Pine Ridge is astounding, the poverty doesn’t seem to be bad here. The Natives and whites live together without a huge separation between to two. Anyway, Riverton had a Safeway. I was so happy to see a fantastic produce section!! yay!! I stocked up on lots of fruit and found a campground. The people at owl creek campground were very friendly and I sat outside as chatted with an older gentleman traveler. When he heard I went to Pine Ridge he told me stories about his adventures there and the wonderful people he had met. We also talked about why the poverty there is so much worse than on other reservations and how the prejudice against natives is so strong in South Dakota..and etc. It was great conversation. I had really bad cravings around 9 and thought I would die if I didn’t get to eat some chips, instead I ate 4 large tomatoes and later a pint of raspberries. I felt satisfied again and went to bed feeling great at about 10:30.

Day ten…Friday

Today I had a lot of food cravings, but I stayed strong. It was tough, but I glad I made it through.

I spent most of the day driving. Drove through the black hills, visited bear country and storybook island. Made it to Wall, SD around 5ish. It was so good to not be driving anymore. Rode my longboard around town for about 45 minutes, it’s a small town, there’s only so many places to go. Walked around Wall Drug for about 1/2 hour.

It’s hard to remember what I ate but here is what comes to mind:
2 melons, 1 lb. dates, 3 medium apples, 4 bananas, 2 lbs. strawberries…that doesn’t seem like much, but it’s all I can come up with right now. Traveling seems to make the days so blurry.

I felt good yesterday, though I was extremely tired. I went to bed at 10:30p.m. and got up at 5:30. I also didn’t sleep very good because I got cold camping out. I will make sure and dress warmer for bed from now on.

Day nine

Made it through another day of all raw.
Went to bed at 12:30 a.m. and woke up at 5:30 a.m. Was understandable tired but still felt really good. At 1/8 of a watermelon. Drove and ate off and on for the rest of the day avoiding food combinations…2 melons, 2 lbs. of grapes, 2 apples, 1 lb dates, 3 lbs. of cherries. In Yellowstone I stopped and tried napping for a while but there were too many mosquitoes, so instead I ate a bunch of wild greens. In the Big Horn Mountains we stopped and hiked 3 miles to the medicine wheel and back. That was great getting some exercise after sitting for hours. I am not used to sitting so much and my body is very stiff, but it doesn’t seem to hurt at all.
I had a pretty good attitude all day until it started to get late and I was so tired, I became a little grouchy with Savana. Otherwise I felt clear headed, happy and peaceful the whole day.
Loved seeing all the beautiful country as I was driving through.

Day eight

I had a fantastic day. Very busy but a lot of fun. I went to bed at 10:30, woke up at 5:30. Felt ok, but not too great, had really bad gas. Drank a bunch of water and felt better. I then decided that today was the day to stop messing around and commit to feeling my best.
I made a 5 banana smoothie, with lots of romaine, dandelion and beet greens from my garden. I felt really really good after that. Half hour later at 7 a.m. I rode 6 miles to my first job. I cleaned for 2 hours and rode 1 mile to the co-op. Stocked up on a bunch of organic fruit. I biked 3 miles to a fruit stand and bought a bunch of melons. Rode 1 mile to my next cleaning job. Ate 3 large cantaloupe and cleaned for 1 1/2 hours. Rode 3 miles to Boise Bicycle project and worked on my bike for an hour. Rode 5 miles to my last cleaning job. Ate half an avocado then later had a 3 banana, head of romaine smoothie, cleaned/cooked for 1 hour. Biked a mile back home. Felt great and strong.
Loaded up my mom’s car and took off for South Dakota. It is so strange driving instead of biking. It’s a whole different way of thinking…so anyway. On the drive I ate .50 lbs. in dates and 5 medium sized organic apples.
Made it to Pocatello by 10 p.m. and I am staying with a wonderful friend of mine for the night.

I made it the whole day eating fruits and greens and I feel fantastic!!! I had a goal to make it through one day and I did it. 🙂 I feel like doing a little dance of success..haha. I haven’t figured out my calories yet, I think they might be low, but I feel very sastified right now. Very very happy and peaceful.

Days six and seven

Yesterday was a pretty easy day. I went to bed late again the night before, since there was another slumber/movie party, I fell asleep around 1 ish. I woke up around 8. I felt pretty good. Ate 2 big slices of watermelon and rode 1/2 mile to the fruit stand. At the fruit stand I bought a bunch of melon’s…my favorite fruit stand guy Tony cut a couple of them up for me and I ate them while we bs’ed for the next half hour. I then rode 1 1/2 miles home and ate another melon. An hour later I ate a 6 banana/mixed green smoothie. I was feeling really good, high energy, clear thoughts. I worked around the house on the garden and computer. Around noon I walked a couple of blocks to my mom’s house. I ate a small portion of vegan spaghetti there. My ears started throbbing right away, but it went away within a half hour.
Later I rode a mile to work. Ate 2 large cantaloupe and cooked/cleaned for 2 hours. Rode a mile back home and ate another melon.
My friend Isaac came by and I took him on the tandem down the greenbelt and showed him all the wild fruit trees that are growing along the path. It was great fun and we have plans to raid the trees as soon as they are ripe 🙂
Went to bed around 10:30.
Woke up today at 5 a.m. Drank a bunch of water and rode 4 miles to yoga. Did a great 90 minute yoga session and rode 3 miles to the fruit stand. I was feeling good, strong and peaceful. I bought a bunch more melons and..of course..Tony cut a couple up for me and I ate them while we chatted. I then rode one more mile home. Took a 2 hour nap, ate half an avocado (my ears immediately started throbbing for the next 15 minutes) and rode a mile to work. Cleaned for 2 hours and rode another mile to my next job. Ate 2 cantaloupe and an hour later ate a small portion of organic chicken breast and some plain roasted potatoes..bad food combining…but I felt pretty good still, and amazingly my ears didn’t start to throb. I cooked/cleaned for 2 hours and rode a mile home. After a couple of hours I got a slight headache and my neck felt really stiff.
I drank a bunch of water and felt better.
Rode 3/4 of mile to Fred Meyers with my daughter to get some last minute things for the trip to South Dakota tomorrow. I bought a sugar free apple pie when i was there…for some ridiculous reason…ate 2 pieces of it when I got home and of course felt instantly tired and am getting ready to head off to bed.

A little frustrated with my eating again today. My self control still seems to be wimping out on me. Regardless I am going to try again tomorrow and every day until I feel good all day and have all nutrient filled, life giving calories going into my body.

Day five

This last weekend has been so crazy and different from my usual day to day life, it is hard for me to remember what happened at what times, but I think I remember most of yesterday chronologically.
I went to bed really late…like 2 a.m. I think I fell asleep watching movies at the slumber party. I woke up at 7:30 a.m. Needless to say..not only did I have a cooked food hangover again, but I was suffering from major lack of sleep. I drank a lot of water in the morning..not sure how much. Ate 2 big pieces of watermelon and biked from my friends house 3 miles to church at 9:30. I was feeling really good, clear headed and happy. After church I biked a mile to the co-op and bought a bunch of melons. I ate half a watermelon sitting in the sun on the co-op patio, I felt so good and peaceful. Biked 5 miles home and ate a gala melon and a cantaloupe. Took a 2 hour nap, woke up and ate .50 lbs. in dates. Rode 3 miles to a 4th of july party. At the party I ate a bunch of broccoli, cauliflower and jicama dipped in a vegan sauce. A while later, I caved in and ate some chips and salsa (I love chips and salsa, it is so hard for me to resist). I didn’t eat very much because I just wasn’t feeling very energetic and already felt really full…regardless my ears started throbbing again and I was super tired. At 10:30 p.m. after watching the fireworks I rode a mile to my friends house for another movie/slumber party night. Everyone there was so tired and low energy..most of us didn’t even make it all the way through the movie without falling asleep…including myself.
I am feeling like my evening cooked food binges are coming to an end. I am tired of them and I am tired of not feeling my best. Reading Myra’s blog today really helped me, I saw her make it through her cravings and I have done the same thing in the past, I can do it again! I have the strength in me that Myra has, I can do it!

Day four

I didn’t get to do a post last night, I went to a slumber/movie party at a friends and didn’t bring my mac along. So here is yesterdays info.

Went to bed at 10:30, woke up at 5:30. Didn’t sleep good from eating the raw cheese before bed (I went on a crazy binge after having a little bit and ate the whole 5 oz.). I had legs cramps all night from all the salt that was in the cheese and I was full of mucus, was puffy and swollen.

I felt horrible when I woke up…my sinuses where burning and my inner ears throbbed. I drank 48 oz of water and started to feel better.I made a 5 tomato, 4 small juiced grapefruits and 3 small juiced oranges drink, bottled it up and rode 5 miles to my first job. Drank my bottled drink 32 oz. and cleaned for 2 hours. I rode a mile to the co-op, bought 2 lbs. of fresh local organic strawberries and ate them on the patio. I started to feel my super powers kicking in, I rode another mile to my next job, cleaned for 2 hours. Rode 3 miles to a fruit stand, bought 3 honeydew melons and rode another mile to my last job. At the 3 melons and cleaned for 2 hours. Next I rode 7 miles back home ate .50 oz of dates and took a 2 hour nap.

Woke up, make 16 oz. kiwi, dandelion, romaine smoothie. Rode a mile to see a concert in a park. Drank my smoothie and visited with people I knew. I ate a bunch of blueberries that someone shared with me, than ate a bunch of papaya another raw friend shared. I was a little concerned about food combining, but still felt good, strong, happy and peaceful.

At 9 p.m. I rode to a friends birthday/slumber party. We watched movies that were projected on a wall outside, while we all snuggled in blankets. I ate a bunch of tortilla chips and salsa, a little bit of popcorn, 2 pieces of dark chocolate, and some quinoa tomato casserole. Needless to say I wasn’t feeling good anymore and my ears started throbbing again really bad. I was still happy though and snuggled all night between two very respectful but great looking guys 🙂

Woke up the next morning with another food hangover…once again…sigh. I will share more about that when I post todays eating and events.

This is so hard admitting all of this waste I am putting in my body. I had a slight bit of panic set in today…thinking that I wouldn’t be able to keep up posting for the full 30 days. I don’t want people to see these horrible eating patterns I get myself into. I thought I would be able to stop easier if I had to tell everyone about the damage I am doing to my body, but that doesn’t seem to be stopping me at all. There are parts of my mind that just say “*&%^$ it” and my will power just seems to be zapped. I have to keep telling myself that I am getting better and that I am getting stronger…I sure hope I am right.