Arriving in Costa Rica

The view from my room is amazing. I’ve seen pictures of this kind of beauty but have never seen anything this amazing in real life before.

The past 2 months, November and December of 2011 were very dark and depressing. I told myself as the weather started to get colder that I wasn’t going to let winter get me down this year. I wasn’t going to let the cold bother me and I was going to be happy and accepting of the winter as it came on. After all I knew I was going to be in Costa Rica all of January and most of February, that alone should make me happy.

Regardless, the winter blues hit me hard. I stopped blogging and I felt so miserably cold clear to my bone marrow. I tried eating more “warming” foods other than fruits and veggies, which just made me physically feel even more awful and increased my depression and mental chaos. I didn’t want to ride my bike in the freezing cold anymore and started using my roommates car more and more, which resulted in getting less exercise and fresh air…causing me to spiral down faster and faster. Fifteen lbs heavier, everyday I was struggling to pull myself back up and each day I just felt worse. I just had to survive until December 29th when I left for Costa Rica. This is why I have to go south every winter. Otherwise I would still be in Boise right now, fighting to get myself out of bed for another 2 months.

Getting to Costa Rica was a challenge this year. A missed flight and 15 hours spent at the L.A. airport. Not fun, but I made it here. Yesterday was my first day here. I was very tired from lack of sleep but so very happy. I woke up in the morning to the sound of the tropical birds. First thing I did was sick my head out the window and breath in the warm tropical air. I was so excited to see my fruitarian friends that I already knew and meet more wonderful fruit lovers. Everyone always looks so healthy and vibrant.

The bus ride to the resort was a treat. I loved seeing everything in Spanish. I want to learn to speak Spanish fluently…very very much. I made an effort on the drive to talk to everyone I didn’t know and to find out more about them. People’s stories just fascinate me. Talking to people that are healthy or striving to gain more health is such a treat. I rarely get to have those conversations with people back home. Just being around “like minded” people is so bonding and beautiful.

When we arrived at the resort I was astonished. This place is like a luxury hotel, with the most amazingly beautiful scenery. I’m not used to such fine accommodations….wow….and more wow. I could get used to this πŸ™‚ It is a little more isolated that I would like. I really wanted to mingle with the locals and work on my Spanish. I plan on going to town on the once a week trips and working on my Spanish at that time. Otherwise I will enjoy this resort to the fullest while it lasts.

My job here is to be the head intern. I am in charge of the other interns. Setting up rotation of the duties and attending classes. Doug plans on this being a very educational experience, which I am very happy about. The more knowledge I can get about health and fitness the better. At dinner last night we had a great discussion about how to measure health and fitness. I love this stuff! We came to no clear conclusions but were given our homework and I am excited to see where the discussion leads at dinner tonight. Such fun, stimulating conversation!

For breakfast, lunch and dinner yesterday we had fresh papaya and banana’s. I was so happy to eat fresh papaya again. I haven’t had any papaya since going to Hawaii last year. Once I tasted it fresh I couldn’t stand the shipped in papaya that Boise has to offer. There will be more variety in our meals from here on out since yesterday was a travel, transition day..the meals were simple. I don’t ever care about variety. I just want to eat papaya for the next 8 weeks. Fresh papaya is so yummy!!!!

Last night, the first night spend at the resort, I slept better than I had in weeks. Sleeping with the windows open and being sung to sleep by the sound of the river was so peaceful and relaxing. Plus I have a wonderful roommate. We are a really good fit πŸ™‚

I am off to have breakfast.

Buenos dias!

The last warm day

Sunday October 30th,

Woke up at 8 a.m. Wrote my blog and I was really tired from staying up so late. I went back to bed at 10 and slept for a couple more hours.

Breakfast

I made 20 0z. of oj and drank it up. I made up a 14 banana smoothie and bottled it up to take with me. I rode 5 miles to downtown to meet up with my friend Will and go on a hike.

Lunch

Before the hike I decided I needed to fuel up and drank all of my smoothie.

The hike was great. It was a beautiful 65 degree. Will and I get along so well. We had a great time and talked about all kinds of things. I feel like I can tell Will anything going on with me and he is always ok with it. We decided we needed to go on walks together once a week. So we set up another hike for next Sunday. The hike was 7 miles and I felt great, happy and strong when it was over.

I biked 9 miles from there to Dante’s house. At Dante’s house I met his friend Amy and his roommates kids. I played with the kids for a while. The little boys name was Dillan, but he said to call him Bubby. He is 4 and the little girl is 5. I can’t remember what her name is. The kids were great happy kids and I enjoyed them a lot.

Dante and I rode 4 miles to my house. We borrowed my roommates car to go to the store and run some errands.

Dinner

I made another smoothie with 10 banana’s and drank it in the car. I also ate a few dates.

We got back to my house and watched a movie. I went to bed around midnight.

 

 

 

Don’t cut calories, eat enough of the right type of calories and you will lose weight.

Saturday October 29th, 2011

I slept in today until 11 a.m. It felt so good. I feel like I have been going and going with minimal sleep for a while. It was so nice to just sleep as long as I wanted. I was feeling so happy, satisfied and strong from all the banana’s I had eaten the day before.

Breakfast

I wrote my blog and at a whole bunch of grapes. I’m not sure the amount of grapes but it was a lot. I wanted to relax today and just be. It was a beautiful warm day out. I was so happy to have my front door open and enjoy the fresh air. I did some laundry and then took a 2 hour nap.

Lunch

I woke up from my nap and got ready to go to work. I blended up 14 banana’s and bottled them up. I rode 5 miles to my first job. I was really hungry by the time I got there and I realized that I had only eaten some grapes the whole day. I drank my smoothie, felt strong and satisfied again. I cleaned for 2 hours and then biked a mile to the co-op.

Dinner

At the co-op I bought a case of banana’s and some more dates. I then biked a mile to Flying M. I bought 56 oz. of fresh squeezed oj and drank that up. It was so nice and warm out. I was happy sitting outside in my t-shirt, soaking up some sun and warmth. An older guy that I had seen around before sat down close to me and we started talking. His name is David and come to find out that he had just come back with having tea with one of my really good friends. We talked for a while until I had to leave for my play.

I was getting ready to take off on my bike when a guy walked up to me. He said he wanted to apologize because last week he almost hit me with his car. He recognized my bike and wanted to make sure and tell me he was sorry. I don’t remember that happening, but I was really glad he was able to approach me like that. His name is Zach and his friend he was sitting with is JT. I chatted with them briefly before taking off.

I rode 4 miles to the Orient Market which is a block away from my play. They didn’t have any durian or young coconuts, but they did have ice cream banana’s. Score! I bought a bunch of those.Β The cashier that works there all the time is George. George and I had a good time bs’ing for a few minutes before I was off again and headed to my play.

The play went really good. It was double feature night so there was an 8 o’clock show and a midnight show. I was so glad I had taken a nap earlier. During the break in between shows I ate a bunch of cherry tomatoes and peas. I was feeling like I had a lot of energy to burn so I pulled out my jump rope and was trying to beat my record of 74 jumps in a row. I couldn’t seem to get past 47. I jumped off and on for about 45 minutes. I felt so amazing afterward. Very strong, healthy and warm.

Cutting calories is not the answer

During intermission of the second show. I was reading “The Pleasure Trap”. The part I’m at was talking about food and satiation. Basically it was saying we need to eat enough of the right foods to reach our ideal weight. I find that I have the hardest time explaining that concept to people. Most people when I am coaching them on weight loss want to cut the calories. That is what people are taught to do, when really that just causes our bodies to think it is starving and there are unwanted consequences to that. Animals in nature never cut calories, they eat the perfect amount and maintain perfect bodies. They also don’t eat calorie dense, high fat, processed foods. It is not the amount of calories you eat, it is the type of calories you are eating. Eating enough whole fresh fruits and vegetables until you are fully satisfied is the fastest most efficient way to reach your ideal body weight. It just simply works and your body and mind are getting all the nutrients they need, so you have an incredible amount of energy. Good stuff!

After the play was over. I stayed after a little while and talked. I biked home 3 miles at 2 a.m. I ate 6 dates when I got home. I was a little bit wound up, so I read for a while and fell asleep around 3:30.

Action

Eat enough calories of fresh fruits and vegetables and see how fantastic you feel while losing weight πŸ™‚

 

 

28 banana’s in one day :)

Thursday

I woke up at 5:30 a.m. I really wanted to sleep some more but that wasn’t happening. I wrote my blog and got Savana up. Made her breakfast of oatmeal and fresh squeezed oj, then sent her off to school.

Food for the Day

I made 60 oz of fresh squeezed oj, drank 16 oz. of it and bottled the rest up to take with me. I then made a 14 banana smoothie, bottled that up to take with me. Grabbed about 20 dates, a big jar of grapes and a watermelon, loaded up my bike and headed off.

It was a very cold morning. In the mid 20’s. My ears and fingers were frozen on the mile ride to physical therapy. It’s time to start wearing protection for my ears and getting out my thick winter gloves. I can’t stand winter. I want to wear shorts and a t-shirt all year long. I don’t like bundling up, I feel so restricted…and most importantly…I don’t feel sexy πŸ™‚

At physical therapy I have gained a little bit more movement in my shoulder. I still have not been doing my exercises like I should. I really need to make that a priority if I want to get full movement back in my shoulder. Now with all my company gone it will be easier to focus on working my own stuff.

Breakfast and lunch

Next I rode 4 miles to work. At that job I drank the rest of my oj and cleaned for 2 hours. Then I rode 3 miles to downtown and met with the guy doing my website. He gave me some great ideas and also fixed firefox on my computer so I can browse the internet again. Yay! While I was there I ordered a 4 banana smoothie. I drank that and also drank my 14 banana smoothie. Yes…18 banana’s in my stomach. I felt so strong and happy.

I also got my introduction in while I was there. I met a woman named Krista. She was having a hard day. Sick of following social norms and putting up with the bs. We had a great talk about how to break away from the system while still living in it. She was much happier by the time the conversation was over πŸ™‚

I rode a mile to my private yoga lessons. No one was there when I arrived. I realized that I had shown up a half hour earl. Even though it was still chilly out, the sun was shining bright. So I lied down on the sidewalk in the sun and got nice and toasty warm. It was a blissful half hour, just spacing off in my own happy land, soaking up vitamin D.

Tim showed up and I did yoga for an hour with him. It was a great session. I just love having Tim as my yoga instructor. Our energies match up very well together. He is a beautiful soul.

After yoga I rode a half mile to the co-op. Bought some more dates. Ran into my ex Jonathan and we talked for a while. Then I rode a mile downtown and met up with the young 26 year old that I had talked to the day before, Dante. We hung out for a while and I ate my jar of grapes.

Dinner

We met Savana getting off the bus and took her to voice lessons. Then went to Flying M. I drank 56 oz. of fresh squeezed oj while I was there. Dante and I just talked and had a good time getting to know each other. Dante has bad boy written all over him, so of course I am very attracted to him. I don’t know what it is with me and bad boys. I would be a good idea for me to dig deep into myself and figure that one out.

Savana got out of voice lessons and I put her back on the bus to go spend the night at her dad’s. Then Dante and I rode 4 miles to my play. Dante stayed to see it. The play went great. I had more fun doing it than ever before. During intermission I ate about 6 dates.

After the play Dante and I rode to my house and watched a movie, I ate 2 apples during the movie. I went to sleep at around midnight.

 

Friday

Food for the day

Woke up at 8 a.m. Made a 14 banana smoothie to take with me. Made 24 oz. of oj and drank it right away. I hadn’t eaten my watermelon from the day before so I packed that up, as well as a jar of grapes.

Breakfast and lunch

I rode a very cold 5 miles to my first job. Cleaned for 2 hours and drank my 14 banana smoothie. Then I rode 5 miles to Wylla’s. Wylla was great as usual. I ate my watermelon and we talked. She gave me some great advice about my bad boy phase I am going through, since she used to love those bad boys as well. She also reminded me of where I want to put my energy and keeping my life simple. I am so grateful to have Wylla in my life.

After Wylla, I rode 4 miles to my next cleaning job. I rode through downtown and stopped to talk to my homeless friend Ronny. He was hanging out with a guy I didn’t know. That guy introduced himself to me. His name is Josh. Yay, I got my introduction in for the day and I didn’t even have to initiate it πŸ™‚ I got to my job, cleaned for 2 hours and rode 5 miles home.

Dinner

When I got home I was starving. I made another 14 banana smoothie and drank it right up. I talked to my roommate for a while. I was so cold and I couldn’t get warm. So I took a wonderful, relaxing hot bath. I felt so warm and happy. After my bath I rode 3 miles to my play. It went good and I ate 6 dates during intermission.

After the play I rode 5 miles to Dante’s house. We hung out for a short while and I left to ride the 5 miles home. On the way home I stopped at a bar to use the bathroom. There was some people playing pool in there and they were really good. I stayed and watched the game. Finally made it home around 1 a.m. and went to bed.

I just realized that I ate 28 banana’s in one day, plus some oj, a watermelon and some dates. Yes!! I have also had no overt fats for 2 days. I don’t really feel any different. When I do eat them I usually eat them in very small amounts.

 

 

 

Saying goodbye to Anthony

October 26th, 2011
Woke up at 6 a.m.Β  Wrote my blog. Got Savana up, fed her oatmeal and fresh squeezed oj for breakfast. Sent her off to school and went back to bed.

I woke up again at 9 a.m. Anthony got up also. I uploaded the first part of our video about our adventures. I didn’t do high quality to save on time and it didn’t turn out very good. I figured I would re-do it later.

I made 60 oz. of fresh squeezed oj, blended with 6 mango’s. I drank that for breakfast. Then I blended 14 banana’s up with a little bit of water and bottled it up to take with me.

Anthony and I said our goodbyes. He would be gone by the time I got home from work. I am going to miss him a lot. With us both being fruitarians and sharing the same energy vibes…we really bonded. I will really miss eating fruit together.

I left for work and grabbed a watermelon on the way out of the door. I cried a little bit on the mile ride. My first job went well. After that I took the bus downtown. I rode 5 miles from downtown to Wylla’s. At Wylla’s I ate my watermelon and we talked as usual. I told her all about our adventure to Southern Idaho this weekend and about the ass slapping incident with my brother in law. She is so wonderful to talk with and gives me her words of wisdom to keep me on track.

After Wylla’s. I rode 5 miles back downtown. It was a chilly day, but the sun was shining bright and beautiful. I was enjoying being out on my bike.

Downtown I got on the bus. There was a really good looking young guy on there. I smiled at him when I got on, just like I smile at everyone. I sat one seat away from him and I could see him inching over, thinking about talking to me. So I asked him how things were going and that started us talking. His name is Dante and he is 26, works at a one the grocery stores in town. It was a enjoyable conversation and we decided to stay in touch πŸ™‚ I got my introduction for the day in and it was a good one.

I got off the bus and went to the grocery store to buy some stuff for my next clients, Bob and Maggie. I must have been putting out a glow of some sort because I had many people approach me and randomly talk to me while I was shopping. It was very interesting, but the interactions were all good energy and positive. I was having fun with it.

After getting groceries, I rode a mile to my clients house. I talked to Maggie a while and she watched the video I had put up on youtube and I drank my 14 banana smoothie. Then I made dinner and cleaned the house. Savana called me while I was there and wanted to know when I was going to get her hair cut. She wanted it done for halloween and I hadn’t gotten around to it. I told her to ride her bike and meet me and we would go to a walk in hair salon and get it cut.

I met Savana as I was leaving Bob and Maggies and we went to “Great Clips”. I walked in the door and an old acquaintance of mine was working there. We talked and caught up on each others lives while she was cutting Savana’s hair. It was great to hear how well she was doing.

We left “Great Clips” and rode a mile home. When I got there Anthony was gone and I was thinking about where he might be right now on his bicycle. Probably somewhere in eastern Oregon.

I had about an hour of free time before I had to do a phone consultation. I was trying to get the video to upload at a higher quality. Youtube was telling me I needed to update my firefox. So I downloaded the newer version only to find out that it wouldn’t work on my computer because it was too old. So now I had no access to the internet at all. I was feeling frustrated with computer crap and deleted the new version I had downloaded only to find out I now had no firefox at all. ARG!! So I asked Savana if I could use her laptop until I got mine fixed. She reluctantly said I could. I quickly made up a salad with 1 lb. of mixed greens and my tahini, lemon dressing and ate that.

I did my consult and right after that I called into a radio show in LA that I was a guest on for the hour. I had a lot of fun doing that. I think I did ok in talking about the fruitarian diet and how it has changed my life in fantastic ways. I was a little bit nervous, but not too bad.

After that I tried fixing my computer for a while before I gave up and went to bed at around 10:30 p.m. My bed was very lonely. There was no one to snuggle with, all my snuggly friends were gone and I cried for about a minute, then I felt better and went to sleep.

 

Saying goodbye to “Joe”

October 25th, 2011

Woke up at 6 a.m. Wrote in my blog and got Savana up. Made her a breakfast of oatmeal and applesauce. After she left for school I tried going back to sleep for a while, but it was no use. I was up for the day.

Joe got up and started packing to get ready to leave. He made Anthony and myself some fresh squeezed oj to drink, 16 oz. each. I made myself a 14 banana smoothie to take with. Anthony grabbed a bunch of grapes. We all walked to the bus stop. Anthony and I had our bikes and we put them on the bike rack. The bus ride was fun. We were all happy and having a good time together as usual.

Once we got downtown we all waited together for Joe’s bus to come to take him to the airport. When the bus arrived we all said our goodbye’s. I thought I might cry when Joe left, but I didn’t…Anthony said he felt like crying…but he didn’t. Anthony and I rode a few blocks to Flying M. I met with a couple of friends there and we all talked for a little while. I bought 28 oz. of fresh squeezed oj and drank it.

After my friends left, Anthony and I were trying to figure out what to do with our day. I was feeling a little bit tired and wasn’t up for too much strenuous activity. We sat for a while and I drank my 14 banana smoothie. We finally decided to just get some food and then go back to my house and take a nap.

We rode a mile to Winco, it was a very cold ride. Even though it was a beautiful sunny day, there was a very cold wind and the temperatures were only going to get into the low 50’s. At Winco Anthony bought 6 and a half lbs. of dates to take with him when he left to finish biking to San Fransisco tomorrow. I bought a bunch of mango’s. We rode 2 miles to the co-op and I bought a case of organic Valencia oranges, as well as some veggies and sweet potatoes. At the co-op I introduced myself to a cashier I hadn’t talked to before. Her name is Nancy.

Outside the co-op. I was loading all my groceries on my bike when a piece of paper flew over at my from the gazebo. The guy sitting there asked if I could get it for him. I was happy to, plus I could get another introduction in πŸ™‚ His name is Kyle and was filling out a job application to work at the co-op.

With the bike loaded we rode a little ways downtown. I picked up some meat scraps for my cats at Bittercreek. In the alley way there was a young friendly guy that started talking to us, he talked about being a christian while smoking his cigarette..hmm.. his name is Josh. Yay! I got three introductions in for the day. After we left there we rode 3 miles to Cash and Carry where I bought 2 lbs. of organic mixed greens.

My bike was very loaded down for the ride home. I figure about 55 lbs. of weight. We rode 5 miles back to my house, stopping at Bikes2Boards to get a new bike pump on the way.

Back at my house, I made a salad with a lb. of greens and raw tahini, lemon dressing. I ate that and then we both crawled in bed and took a nap. We fell asleep around 4, Savana came home around 5 and went out to jump on the trampoline. We slept for another hour. I was still tired. I didn’t want to get up but I needed to make Savana dinner and clean up my very messy kitchen.

Savana had toast and peanut butter for dinner. Anthony made me 16 oz. of oj. Savana wanted to go back outside and play but it was dark and cold and I told her she had to stay inside. She was mad about that and was pouting for a while. I asked her if she wanted to play a game or anything. She said no and went into her room. About a half hour later she came out and wanted to play big boggle. So we played that while I was trying to upload a video of the adventures Anthony, Joe and I did on Sunday.

Savana went to bed and I was getting frustrated with the computer. Finally at 11:30 p.m. Anthony and I went to bed. We talked about how each of us were feeling. Anthony about his getting ready to leave tomorrow and myself about how I was feeling about my house being empty again. Mostly I am feeling tired. It was so much fun hanging out with Anthony and Joe, but I am ready to get some good sleep and relax in my quite house. It doesn’t look like I will have much time to do that with my schedule the rest of the week, but I will catch up this weekend.

It’s time to get back to loving myself

October 24, 2011

It was a very mellow day.

Woke up at 8 a.m. Wrote my blog. Anthony and “Joe”, were still sleeping. I didn’t have time to make up any food so I grabbed a watermelon on the way out the door. My stomach was still hurting from the rice the night before. I was chugging the water to try to get myself hydrated again and hopefully start feeling better. I feel that I am over my rice eating, destructive behavior. I don’t know why I kept eating it when I knew I would have bad results…I don’t understand the ridiculous things I do sometimes. I am ready to get back to loving myself.

I rode 4 miles to work. It was a new cleaning job and I wasn’t sure what I was in store for me. Thankfully the house was fine and easy to clean. After I finished cleaning I ate my watermelon and had a horrible case of melon belly. Then I rode a couple of miles to the fruit stand. I bought three watermelon and some apples and rode 2 miles home.

At home I dropped off the watermelon and checked my e-mail. Anthony and Joe were up and about. Anthony made me 50 oz. of fresh squeezed oj that I took with me for my next job. I rode 2 miles to that job. While I was there my client told me it was going to get down to 29 degrees tonight. I called up the guys and asked them to go out in the garden and pick all the green tomatoes for me. I drank my oj while I was there. I was feeling kind of nervous about Joe and Anthony leaving. All three of us have had so much fun the past week. I am not ready for the fun to be over. I thought it would be a good idea to get some fun adventures set up for after they leave so I don’t have a huge let down. I sent a text to my friend Will and set up a hike for Sunday afternoon. Yay! I love hanging out with Will πŸ™‚

After that job I rode 2 miles to my last job. I talked to Maggie for a while. Telling her about my adventures the day before. We were both laughing so hard, it was such a fun day and so many funny things happened. I will be posting the video we took of our adventures soon…probably tonight. I cleaned Maggie’s house, did laundry and made them dinner. Then I rode a mile home.

My stomach was still upset and I was really tired. I lied down on the couch and dozed off briefly. Savana came home and there were about 10 neighbor kids running around the yard, knocking on the door. I was getting a little bit crabby with getting constantly woken up. I told Savana to have the kids stop knocking and lied back down but then Jonathan came by. I finally gave up getting a nap and got up to talk to Jonathan and the guys.

Jonathan was here for about an hour. After he left I ate a bunch of grapes. My stomach was still yucky and I kept having acid burps…so gross. We all got in the car and rode across town to pick up the lady borrowing my roommates car so she could have the car for the week. On the drove back to my house I stopped at “Fred Meyers” and bought a lb. of mixed greens and some mango’s. Back at home the lady took off with the car. Anthony, Joe and I decided to watch “Deliverance” on the laptop. I made up my salad with my raw tahini/lemon dressing. I ate it while watching the movie.

After the movie we were all tired. My roommate was home and so we were all back on the futon together. I was so warm snuggled in the middle and I fell asleep right away.

I didn’t get in any introductions. I will have to make sure to catch up on that.

Raw adventures in Idaho

October 23rd, 2011

This was a day of adventures. Yay!

I woke up at 8 a.m. Wrote my blog. Anthony and “Joe” woke up fairly early as well. We all get ready to take off for our journey. We were going south into the high desert to soak in some hot springs and do some sight seeing. We loaded up the car with food. I made a 14 banana smoothie to take and then made 64 oz. of fresh squeezed oj blended with 5 mango’s and drank that up right before we left.

On our way out of town we stopped at “Fred Meyers” and got some more food. Then we stopped at the Mexican market to see if they had cherimoya’s. Which they didn’t but we got 3 avocado’s. The last stop was at a friend of mines house to pick some grapes. We got a massive amount and they are so yummy!

Then we were off! We drove 40 miles and stopped in a town called Mountain Home to see my brother and his family. It was short but fun visit. My nephews are the cutest things ever. I ate an avocado right before we left there. I gave me a slight headache and I felt sort of yucky. Ok then…my body still doesn’t like avocado’s.

We then drove to a place called Malad gorge by Wendell, Idaho. It is a beautiful canyon. This is when the adventures really started. I drank 32 0z. of my banana smoothie while we were looking around. Then Anthony started climbing down the canyon and I thought that was a brilliant idea. So we all climbed down until there was no way to go any farther. We had the video camera with us and were having fun with that.

We climbed back up and there was a bridge you could go under. We went underneath and saw that there was a metal grate that you could walk on to get across the canyon. Anthony and I were thinking about trying to cross it and then Joe just started walking across until he made it to the other side. So then Anthony crossed and I tried a couple of times but I was terrified. I would look down and feel like I was going to pass out. Finally I just looked straight ahead at Anthony and then slowly walked across. I was shaking when I got to the other side but I did it! Woo hoo!

We hung out there a while longer. Walked to different parts of the canyon until I started getting hungry. We went back to the car and I drank the other half of my smoothie. It was such a beautiful warm fall day, we basked in the sun for a little bit before taking off. I called the hot springs to see how late they were open and found out that they were closed on Sunday’s. So I decided to go with plan B…which would be sightseeing only.

We drove to Twin Falls and stopped at the Snake River canyon where Evel Kneivel tried to jump with his motorcycle years and years ago…he didn’t make it. We hung out there for a while just having fun.

Then we went to Shoshone Falls, which is this incredible waterfall on the Snake River. The guys really liked that. We didn’t stay there long. It was starting to get later in the day.

Earlier I had called my friend Jenn that lives in Twin Falls and she said she was working for a corn maze but to stop by and see her. So we stopped by and visiting with Jenn, she was dressed up in a crazy purple costume and was fun to hang out with as always. I have such awesome friends! While talking to her I met a guy named John that was working the maze as well. Yay…got my introduction for the day in.

It was getting dark when we left Twin Falls. We drove 20 miles to Shoshone, Idaho so I could drive by my house and make sure the renters were taking care of the place. The house looked great and I was very pleased.

Then we had a 2 hour drive back to Boise. The drive was great. We passed by some stock farms and the smell was horrible. I was telling Joe that this is where beef comes from. This is what he is supporting when he eats meat. He said he had no idea and was really going to think about that. We had great conversations on the way home. I was talking about being poly amorous and how it has forced me to deal with my jealousy and insecurity issues. I also pointed out how through all I have learned I feel that everyone has the right to do what they want with their one life. Who am I to say they can’t have sex with other people or enjoy other peoples company. It’s their life and they get to have the experiences they want. It would be wrong for me to tell them what to do with their one short life…it’s not mine to control. I am only in charge of my own life. I had told Joe before that I didn’t care that he had another woman, I told him right after I found out about her. I don’t think he understood that I really wasn’t bothered by it at all but after this conversation I feel he really understood that I am truly supportive of him seeing other women. Go for it Joe! Have fun! Enjoy your life!

Another conversation we had on the drive home was about my dad. He passed away in March, but two years before that he had a stroke. For 2 long miserable years my dad lived in a half dead half alive state. He could barely talk and would say over and over that he wanted to die. He was couldn’t walk, talk, read and could barely feed himself. It was a horrible existence for 2 years. We talked about how my dad’s lifestyle choices of eating poorly, smoking cigarettes and drinking led to his horrible long drawn out death. I think we all learned a lot from each other on this wonderful day of adventures.

We got back to my house at around 9 p.m.. Unloaded the car and watched our video’s. I cooked up some rice and at a bunch of it. My stomach hurt really bad. I finally went to bed around 1 a.m.

I don’t like being slapped on the ass!

October 22, 2011

This was a very full day.

I woke up at 8 a.m. The guys were still sleeping, so I wrote my blog and figured out what I was doing for the day. I was a little irritated because my friends and I had made plans to get up early and ride around the city. Obviously they had stayed up too late and it was almost noon before they woke up.

I figured since it was too late to do what we had planned, I would just relax for the day. I could use a day of not biking. I made “Joe” some fried potatoes and I broke open a watermelon for myself. Joe took his food outside to sit in the sun. I thought that was the best idea ever. It was a beautiful warm day and the sun felt amazing. The neighbor kids were riding their bicycles around. Joe was talking to them and he was asking one girl why she wasn’t riding her bike. She said she had a flat tire, so Joe told her to bring it over and we would fix it. That started a whole wave of neighbor kids bringing their bikes over and we fixed their tires. One tire had a bad stem and I told the girl she needed a new tube. She seemed very sad about that and was saying she needed to figure out how to make some money. I live in a very poor neighborhood and she knew that her mom had no money to buy a bike tube. I decided I would buy a good quality bike tube for her the next time I went to the store.

After all the bikes were fixed, I made 64oz. of oj/mango/lettuce smoothie and drank it up. Then myself and the guys all loaded up in the car to run some errands. First we stopped at “Fred Meyers” got gas and bought bike tubes, food for Joe, 11 lbs. of organic apples and a bunch of almost ripe organic banana’s.

Next we went to my sisters house. She was watching football with her husband. We watched the game for a little while, it was fun cheering and yelling at the TV about the game just for the fun of it. Joe being the social butterfly that he is, was talking to my sister and her husband about all kinds of thing. I usually don’t go over to my sisters that much. I don’t like the energy over there…it’s very materialistic. Also, 14 years ago her husband beat me up and my sister stood up for him and we didn’t talk or see each other for 10 years because of that. We started talking again 4 years ago, worked things out and her husband apologized. Regardless I still feel very much on guard when I am around him.

When the game was at half time I was getting a bad feeling and said it was time to go. I was standing in the doorway to living room when I said that, I didn’t realized that my sisters husband was standing behind me and literally seconds after I spoke he slapped me on the ass very hard. I wanted to freak out. I was so furious that he hit me..once again. Anthony saw it happen, but Joe didn’t. I told my sister goodbye and we left. In the car I told Joe what had happened. He was really upset and told me I should have said something and he would have stood up for me. I told him that I didn’t want there to be a big huge fight. I just wanted to get out of there and be on my way…back to my peaceful happy world.

I was feeling so upset. I wanted to go out in the desert and just scream and thrash around. We stopped at a store and bought food for my rabbits. I was trying to keep it together in the store. I was freaking out in my head. How dare he touch me! We made it back to the car and drove to the fruit stand and bought 3 watermelon.

Back in the car both Joe and Anthony were talking to me. Anthony telling me it was ok to cry and feel what I was feeling. Joe telling me what to do about the situation. It was so overwhelming. I was sobbing by then and trying to drive. I just started yelling and screamed “FUUUCCCCKKK”Β  and was flailing around. It was so incredibly intense. Then I just started laughing and laughing. I said I was sorry for freaking out, but man I felt so much better. They both understood and were glad I had released all that.

I was back to being my happy self again. We went to a church I clean and the guys helped me clean it really quick. Then we went to the co-op and picked up a case of banana’s. We were stocked up on food and all the errands were done. We decided to go to second hand stores and goof around. That was a lot of fun. I bought 3 pair of jeans..now I have 6 pair of pants to last me through the winter. Yay! At the second hand store I ate 2 apples and introduced myself to the cashier. Her name is Carrie.

I had been thinking through out the day on how to address the situation with my brother in law. I am so glad I read a book called “Emotional Intelligence” a couple of years ago. It has helped me so much in handling situations in a non violent, peaceful way. When we got back to the house Joe asked me what I was going to do about my brother in-law. I told him I had already decided and to listen to this. I called up my sister and asked to talk to her husband. I said to him “Today when I was over there and you smacked me on the ass”. He said “yes”. I said, “I don’t know if you knew this, but I don’t like to be smacked on the ass and I thought I should let you know that”. He said, “ok”. I said, “so it would be great to know that from now on, when I come over to your house, I can enjoy myself without being smacked on the ass”. He said, ” no problem”. Ha! Problem solved! Now I am trusting that he will honor his word. When I hung up the phone Joe grabbed me in a huge hug and told that I was brilliant….lol. Yes!! Then he went and told Anthony how brilliantly I had handled the situation. Yay! I was so happy I had figured out how to do that..happy dance time!

The rest of the evening was great. There was supposed to be a family conference call with my Uncle about my cousin’s death, but that had gotten canceled. The guys and I watched “Trailer Park Boys” and I ate a lb. of lettuce with tahini lemon dressing. Then I showered, went to bed and read for a while. I am reading “The Pleasure Trap”. I highly recommend it!

Joe came in later and we talked about all kinds of things for a couple of hours. Just laughing and enjoying each others company. He was telling me about growing up and his family, I really enjoying learning more about how he grew up and how he became the person that he is today. We went to sleep around 1:30 a.m.

 

 

Dealing with anger and grief

October 21st, 2011

Woke up at 7 a.m. Got Savana up and made her breakfast, oatmeal and applesauce. Packed her a lunch, since Friday is bring your own lunch day. Then after she left for the bus I crawled back into bed and slept for another couple of hours. Savana would be going to her dad’s after school for the weekend.

I woke up again a little before 11 a.m. and I had to leave for work at noon. I got ready to go and Anthony made me a 14 banana 2 mango smoothie and bottled it up for me to take, 80 oz. worth. I left and was going to try to speed ride and see how fast I could make it the 10 miles across town to Wylla’s house. When I started down the road the bus was pulling up. So I quickly changed my mind and hopped on the bus.

On the bus I drank 40 oz. of my smoothie. Once I was downtown I rode as fast as I could the last 5 miles to Wylla’s. At Wylla’s we had lunch together as always. I drank the other 40 oz. of my smoothie. It was Wylla’s birthday, she is 87. Yay Wylla!!! We talked as always and had fun laughing and carrying on. She is so freaking wonderful! I just love her.

After Wylla’s, I took her glass bottles to the glass recycling. Then went to a fruit stand on that side of town, a mile bike ride and at the fruit stand I bought 2 watermelon. They had hardly any watermelon left. I am thinking watermelon season might be ending….ahhhh…I’m not ready for all the local fruit to be gone…peaches are already over and now watermelon…noooo! At the fruit stand I introduced myself to the cashier. His name is Justin.

I left the fruit stand and rode 4 miles to a grocery store called Cash and Carry. There I bought 2 lbs. of organic mixed greens and a case of oranges. With my bike loaded up with 2 watermelon, my greens and a case of oranges I rode 5 miles to my house. I dropped off all the food and took off again to go to my last job, Bob and Maggie.

Maggie wanted me to get some things for her at the store. So I rode 2 miles to Albertsons and bought her groceries and me a lb. of organic mixed greens. Then rode a mile to her house. I made Maggie and Bob dinner, ate my lb. of greens with tahini/lemon dressing and cleaned the house up. I rode a mile home and arrived around 6 p.m.

At home Anthony was cooking some brown rice. I decided I wanted some as well. We both ate some and it was interesting how both of our energies changed. Our vibrant glow was gone and we were getting crabby with each other. My sinuses were burning and I didn’t feel so hot.

I called my Uncle whose son had just died and we talking for a while. It is such a sad situation. My cousin was 29 and they think he died from a cocaine overdose at a party in Atlantic City, NJ, but no one knows for sure until the reports come back. My Uncle is having a hard time and there is a lot of grieving that is being processed.

I went to bed shortly after that. My roommate was staying at his girlfriends for the night and said we could expand our sleeping arrangements to include his room. As I much fun as it is to snuggle between two guys, I was happy to have more space. I went into my roommates room and was reading, trying to calm my mind from thinking about my cousin. I was very cozy and relaxed when my phone rang and it was the lady that has been borrowing my roommates car. I had forgotten I was going to get the car from her.

She brought the car over and then drove myself and Anthony back to her house. Anthony just wanted to come along for the ride and I’m glad he did, I really enjoy his company. On the ride to the lady’s house I noticed the gas tank was empty and hadn’t been filled. Every time I have given the car back to her I have made sure there is plenty of gas in it and every time I have gotten it back with no gas put in it. I had talked to her briefly about this before, but obviously wasn’t clear enough. So I mentioned that I wasn’t going to pay for her gas as well as my own. She said she didn’t mean for that to happen, but didn’t have any money…which seems to be an ongoing problem. I was really angry and pissed off about being used in this way. Then she said she needed the car next weekend, which I then felt like she was just taking over my roommates car.

After she got dropped off at her house, I talked to Anthony about how I was feeling on the drive home. He had noticed the behavior in her as well and I figured I would just give the car back to her with an empty tank and stop supporting her driving habits.

Back at home Anthony and “Joe” started watching a movie on the laptop. I ate about 8 dates. I was exhausted and went to bed. it took me a while to fall asleep. I was so angry still and I kept coughing from nasal drip in my throat from the rice, then I was pissed off about eating the rice.Β  Finally I fell asleep, it was around midnight.