not enough carbs makes a crabby Victoria

October 19th, 2011

woke up at 5:30 a.m. I knew that was way to early, though I was warm and cozy snuggled in the middle of my two friends. I hadn’t gotten to sleep until midnightish. I tried going back to sleep for an hour but that didn’t happen. At 6:30 a.m., I got up and woke up Savana. Made her oatmeal, applesauce and v8 for breakfast. I made 50 oz. of fresh squeezed oj, blended with 2 mangos for myself and bottled it up to take with me.

I send Savana off to the bus and I wrote my blog. Then I was off to work with my oj/mango blend and a watermelon. I had 4 houses to clean today and I was already running a little bit behind schedule. My first job was a mile away. Once that was done I caught the bus to save on time getting across town. On the bus I talked to my sister on the phone and drank my breakfast. From downtown it was a mile ride to my second job.

That job went well. I called my home phone to see how things were going with my friends. Joe answered the phone all sleepy and said him and Anthony were still sleeping. Oh man…I so wished I could be at home sleeping as well. My second job went good and I rode 2 miles to my 3rd job, which was Wylla.

At Wylla’s I ate my watermelon and we talked like always. I got to tell her about all the drama in my life. She had been telling me that my life was a little boring and she wanted to hear more exciting stories when I came over. I told her she was in for a treat today…lol. She was able to share with me her insightful wisdom and told me I was doing a great job πŸ™‚ We had a great time together as usual. She is 86 and I don’t know how many years she has left, but I am so going to miss her when she is gone.

After Wylla’s I got on the bus. One of my favorite bus drivers was driving. I was so happy to see and talk to Michael. Once I got downtown I transferred buses and another one of my favorite drivers was on that bus. LaPriest is quite the player with the women, I thought…this is the perfect guy to talk to. I told him about my situation with Joe. LaPriest gave me great tips on how guys like him think and behave. Thanks LP!

After I got off the bus I went to the grocery store and bought some mango’s and mixed greens. I rode a mile to my last job of the day. Maggie was leaving to go to physical therapy so I didn’t get to tell her about my exciting life. I cleaned the house, did laundry and made Maggie and Bob dinner.Β  I made myself a salad of 1 lb. of mixed greens with tahini/lemon dressing. Bob came home a little after 5 p.m. and Maggie came home a few minutes later. I served them their dinner. They were watching the news on TV. It was nothing but bad stuff. I am so glad I don’t have a TV anymore…they are yucky! I cleaned up the dinner dishes and then rode a mile home.

I was so tired when I got home and there was so much to do. I just wanted to lie down and take a nap. I was a little bit crabby as well. Anthony and Joe were full of energy…no shit! They slept half the day. I did up the dirty dishes and did laundry. Savana came home and I made her and Joe some fried potatoes, those two are like buddies. Savana and Joe decided to watch “Finding Nemo” and it was fun listening to them talk and interact about the movie. I had talked to the guy doing my website for me the day before because I wanted to change the name to FueledByFruit rather than RadicalRawRevolution. That guy called me and said that FueledByFruit was available in .org and not .com and did I still want it changed. Yea, I was stoked that it was available at all. So now it is FueledByFruit.org. Yay!Β  I am much happier with that domain name.

I ate about 6 dates and took a hot bath. Anthony was trying to help me cheer up and trying to get the carbs in me. So sweet! So during my bath he brought in a huge banana smoothie for me to drink. I actually felt tons better after I drank it. Way to go Anthony! I was my happy bouncy self again. I got out of my bath and put Savana to bed.

Then Anthony gave me a full body massage. Joe, Anthony and I all snuggled into bed, so nice and warm in the middle.

I forgot to introduce myself to someone new! I guess I will have to make up for it πŸ™‚

Hiding in the bathroom, eating rice.

October 18th, 2011

I woke up at 7 a.m.. Savana had stayed the night at her grandma’s so I didn’t have to get her up, though I did go to her bus stop and say good morning to her on my way to physical therapy. Physical therapy was at 7:45 a.m and about a mile and a half bike ride. At my therapy session there was a little improvement in my shoulder. I’m going to make it a priority to start doing my shoulder exercises on a regular basis and get serious about getting my full range of motion back. I haven’t been doing my exercises on a regular basis for a couple of months and it really shows.

After therapy I rode back home. It was a cold morning and a cold ride there and back. At least the beautiful sun had risen on the way back and was shining it’s wonderfulness on me. When I got home Anthony and “Joe” were still sleeping. I made 20 oz. of fresh squeezed oj and wrote my blog.

An hour or so later the guys got up. I made Joe some oj and he went for a walk. I had realized the night before that I had forgotten my ID and bank cards in my roommates car. I called the lady that is using the car for the week and she brought it by. Yay!

I ate half a watermelon and a honeydew melon. Then we all took off on bicycle to go play around downtown, a six mile bike ride. First we went to my ex Jonathan’s house. Joe and Jonathan really bonded and they were talking about comic books and what not. Anthony and I were restless and went on a walk. I am so glad that Anthony is visiting me. He is a very wise 23 year old.

On the walk we talked about so many things and he gave me some good insight on how to go about achieving a lot of my goals, as well as great tips about dealing with the situation going on with Joe and his girlfriend. He also pointed out to me how I was getting stronger in standing my ground with Joe and not giving into him when he gets pushy about things. Which he does. He didn’t like that I was communicating with his girlfriend and was telling me to just stop talking to her. I told him that I was going to talk to her and I was going to be dead honest with her, so maybe he should think about being honest with her as well. He really didn’t like that! Ha, not my problem! Anthony really liked that I stayed strong during that interaction. Thanks for the support Anthony!

Back at Jonathan’s, Joe was drawing a comic book character. He is an amazing artist. I was sitting next to him watching him draw and everyone else was out of the room, Joe mentioned how I was acting distant from him ever since the night his girlfriend called. I was thinking to myself…”well no shit!”, how could that not shift the energy between us? Instead I just responded with a casual…hmmm..really? Joe and I need to set aside some time and have a really good talk. I’m just not sure when to do that. I don’t want there to be bad vibes between us…at least while he is still here. I’m not sure how to tell him that I am not interested in a long term relationship with him. I guess I’m worried how he will react. I the other hand, I know that being up front and honest is more important than worrying about how someone could possibly react. I have a feeling I am going to learn and grow a lot from this whole situation with Joe. It is making me very uncomfortable in many ways.

We left Jonathan’s and Anthony and I were really hungry. We rode a few blocks to the co-op. I bought a bunch of pawpaw’s and dates. We sat outside on the gazebo and ate lunch, I ate about 6 pawpaw’s. Then we rode a mile to Flying M…my hang out. I had a 14 oz. fresh squeezed oj, while we sat outside in the sun. There was a woman sitting next to us drawing and Joe started talking to her about art. Great opportunity to get my introduction for the day in. Her name is Becky. She moved to Boise a couple of months ago from Mountain Home, Idaho. I saw a bunch of my friends while I was there and got to catch up on what’s going on in peoples lives.

We locked our bicycles up at Flying M and walked around downtown for a while. We checked out a few fun stores, I kept obsessing on wanting some brown rice. I figured it was because I hadn’t eaten enough calories in fruit for the day, but I really really wanted some rice. I told Anthony this and he said that I would be better off eating fruit…the obvious thing! We walked back and got our bikes. Joe was hungry…we stopped at a Chinese restaurant and I ordered some rice to go. Got some brown rice for myself…of course! We sat on a bench and ate. After I ate the rice I immediately felt my energy sink and my sinuses started burning. Big surprise!

We rode the six miles back to my house. On the way I wanted to stop at the fruit stand. It was 10 minutes until it closed and we were almost there when there was a lady on the side of the bike path working on her bike. There was a part of me that didn’t want to stop and help. I wanted to get my fruit! The other part of me knew that I had to stop and help. So I asked if she needed help. She was so relieved that we had stopped. Her chain had gotten twisted up when she changed gears and she couldn’t fix it. It took about 3 minutes to get her back on track and we still made it the fruit stand on time. Yes!!! Her name was Lindsay and she was very grateful for the help πŸ™‚

With our bikes and backpacks full of fruit we arrived at my house around 6:30 p.m. Savana came home from her Grandma’s and started jumping on the trampoline with a neighbor boy. I made a big salad for myself, mixed greens with tahini/lemon dressing. Then I cooked up some more rice for Joe. I really wanted to eat more rice…so I made myself a bowl and snuck off in the bathroom to eat it so Anthony wouldn’t see me. How ridiculous is that? lol. The rice tasted really gross and I didn’t even eat all I had. I knew I was nursing old behaviors and needed to put a stop to the sneakiness and self destruction before I started rolling around in it’s malfunction and making it a main part of my life again.

I came back out of the bathroom. Threw the rest of the rice in the compost and put Savana to bed. My roommate Steve was coming home, he had been out of town for the week. So we had to move our sleeping arrangements. My place is very small and I sleep on a futon in the living room. My roommate has his room and Savana has her room. Without my roommates bed being available..which he was happy to let us use while he was gone…we decided to all three sleep on the futon and have a big slumber party. Ha! We decided that if we slept on it sideways we would have more room, except then our feet would hang off. So we put kitchen chairs at the end to put our feet on. It actually worked out really good. I was nice and cozy in the middle and had a good nights sleep.

 

 

 

Adventures in the Rocky Mountains

October 17th,

Woke up at 7:12 a.m. I had slept through my alarm and Savana had to be up and ready to leave the house by 7:30a.m. to catch the school bus.

I jumped up and got Savana up. Made her some toast for breakfast and she also had a v8. She made it out the door in time. Yay! After she left I went back and lied down for a while but was wide awake and couldn’t got back to sleep. I made a decision about what to do about Joe and the whole girlfriend drama that had gone on in the middle of the night. I knew right away after he had gotten here that we could not have a serious relationship. He’s not healthy enough for me and if I get serious with someone I want them to be at least vegan…and really I don’t think I will settle for anyone who is not a fruitarian. I love the connection I have with other fruitarians and I would love to have that connection in a relationship where we can learn and grow together. So I wasn’t really sad or upset by Joe not being totally honest with me. I figured since he was here we could still enjoy ourselves until it was time for him to go back home on Tuesday the 25th. Somehow he had brought his drama into my life but regardless it was his drama and didn’t belong to me and I wasn’t about to take ownership of it.

Eventually Anthony and Joe woke up. I made everyone fresh squeezed oj.Β  For myself I had 60 oz. of fresh squeezed oj blended with a mango and drank it. That is my favorite of favorites. Then blended 6 banana’s and bottled it up.

We had decided to go up in the Rocky Moutains and visit a natural hot springs. There are several I know of and they are just pools in the side of mountains that fill with hot water from the ground. No one owns them, just simply a gift from nature. The one I wanted to take my friends to has a waterfall that comes out of the mountain.

We loaded up the car with some fruit we still had at the house. A durian, some grapes and some plums. Off we went on our adventure. We stopped at the fruit stand on the way and bought a case of oranges, 4 watermelons, 2 honey dew and Anthony grabbed 10 tangerines and 5 grapefruits off the bargain bin. Then we went to the co-op and bought a bunch of dates. At the co-op I introduced myself to a new cashier, her name is Kayla.

It was a fantastic 2 hour drive up the mountain. I haven’t done any mountain driving for years and it was fun driving those curvy roads. We all had great conversation, listened to Led Zepplin, majestic views and I munched down a bunch of dates.

Once at the hot springs we had to walk a mile in along the Payette river. We grabbed the durian and two watermelon. Anthony and I decided the hike would be even more enjoyable without shoes. So we did some great barefoot walking. I loved it, such an intense connection to the earth. Once we got to the hot springs we were the only ones around. We all stripped off our clothes and got in. The water was perfect. I opened up the durian and ate half of it. I wanted to take pictures but I had left my camera back in the car. I decided to walk back and get it. The walk back to so wonderful, it was just me and the mountain. Once I got to the car I realized that I had brought the camera to the hot springs after all. It was so strange to me how I had forgotten that I had put it in the bag with the food. I was glad I had forgotten that though, because I really needed to go on this walk, recenter and connect myself with nature.

When I got back we soaked in the water, talked and took some pictures. I ate 1/2 a watermelon at some point. We stayed at the hot springs for 3 blissful hours.

The drive back went just as good as the drive up. It was dark and we were all happy and relaxed. When we made it back to Boise I picked up a lady that was going to use my roommates car for the week. Drove us all to my house, unloaded the car and she took off in it.

We got all cozy on the couch, watched half of “Moulin Rouge”, I ate some more dates and went to bed.

Friends visiting.

Saturday October 15th and Sunday October 16th, 2011

 

Saturday morning I woke up around 9 a.m. Anthony was still sleeping. I cleaned up the house a little and then woke Anthony up. I told him he could stay here or come to my work with me. He wanted to know if I would be back to pick him up before I got my friend from the airport. I told him I wouldn’t be. I also told him that I was going to stop at the fruit stand on the way. He was so funny…he literally flailed around the bed because he couldn’t decided and wanted to sleep longer. Then he got up and decided to go with me. I chose to drive the car because if we biked, my friend at the airport wouldn’t be able to bike back with us.

We stopped at the fruit stand on the way and it was so much fun being there with Anthony. There is nothing more fun that being surrounded by fruit and sharing that experience with another fruit lover. We went crazy buying a case of oranges and tons more food.Β  The owner of the fruit stand Tom was saying that the peaches are done for the season. Well, he still had some and they looked like they were just as delicious as last week. He kept telling me they weren’t good and even gave me a taste, but that one tasted just fine, but he said it was because it was hit and miss..but the season was over…I just didn’t want to believe that peach season was over!!! No!!!! So I bought a bunch. Back at the car I grabbed one to eat and it was horrible. I couldn’t even finish it. So then I grabbed a banana that we had bought and it was horrible as well. Fine!!

Anthony was saying that I needed to eat more or I was going to crash. I knew he was right. I got to work and Anthony and I talked while I cleaned. I just love him! He is spot on amazing! After work we had time to go to the co-op. I bought a bunch of dates while we were there. I ate a lot of the dates when we got to the car so I could get those calories in. We then parked downtown and walked around a little. I showed him the mural my ex-boyfriend Jonathan had painted and we walked through the farmers market. At the market I bought a bag of cherry tomatoes to take to the airport.

We got on the bus and rode up to the airport. When we got there we couldn’t figure out what flight my friend was coming in on. I am not mentioning his name because I was asked not to…so lets just call him Joe. Anthony and I were trying to figure out which flight was which when I look over and there is “Joe” walking through the doors. I was so happy to see him. We hugged and greeted each other and I introduced him to Anthony. It was another 45 min. before the bus came so we decided to just start walking back downtown until the bus caught up with us.

The walk was great. A beautiful fall day, 76 degrees and sunny. On the way I ate my cherry tomatoes. Anthony and I had to pee since we had been chugging tons of water. So we stopped at a shop some of my friends run called Alchemy. That was a great stop. My guests got to meet some of my friends and it was a short but pleasant stop.

Shortly after that the bus came and we rode the rest of the way downtown. We get to my house, we are all exhausted. We all lay down for a nap. At 6p.m. we had to all get up to go to my play, plus we were going to stop by the Asian market on the way so Anthony could get some durian.The market is only a block away from where my play is, so it was very convenient. Before we left I made myself 60 oz. of fresh squeezed oj blended with 3 mango’s.

I set Joe up with my roommates bike and we all rode the three miles to the market. It was really fun ride! We took the bike path next to the river most of the way. At the Asian market we go 2 durian and a young coconut. I wanted more coconuts but that was the last one.

At my play, I told my guests that one of them would have to work and one could get a seat. Joe said he would work and they made him an usher and Anthony got the seat. During the play’s intermission I drank my smoothies. After it was over I had to stay and do a double feature of the play. Joe, Anthony and I walked over to a chinese restuarant and got Joe some rice. We walked back, Anthony and I sat outside and at a durian while Joe ate his rice. Then they rode back to my house. The second play started at midnight. I ate a bunch of dates during the intermission of that play. I was very very tired. The play got finished at 2 a.m., I rode the three miles home and went straight to bed.

I woke up around 8 a.m. Made myself and Joe 16 oz. of fresh squeezed oj. It was a rainy day. I talked to Anthony a while, cleaned up the house and did some laundry across the street. I made 32 0z. banana/peach smoothie and drank that. My mom and her new boyfriend stopped by. I realized I didn’t get my introduction in yesterday. I would have to make up for it today but introducing myself to at least 2 people. So my mom’s boyfriend’s name was Dennis. I ate half a watermelon while talking with them. It was a fun time and good conversation. After my mom left I wanted to get my new wood stove that I had bought from the neighbor on the corner. I figured since I had two guys with muscles to help me, today would be a great day to do that.

It was pouring rain and hard labor for those guys to get the stove over here with a hand cart. They were soaked and sore by the time it was done. I was very very grateful for their help and my new stove looks so fantastic! Joe went to lay down and rest. I reorganized my house to fit the new stove and talked with Anthony. My ex-boyfriend Jonathan stopped by. Jonathan, Anthony and I shared a durian and had a good time talking bs…enjoying each others company. Joe got up later, came out and joined us. We all talked and had fun for a few hours. I ate some plums and grapes.

Jonathan left. My daughter came home from her dad’s shortly after that. Anthony, Joe and I wanted to walk to the store and get groceries now that it wasn’t raining anymore. Savana didn’t want to go, so she stayed at home. We stocked up on a bunch of food at the store. I introduced myself to a guy that works at the grocery store, his name is MacKenzie. After we got back, we all sat on the couch and watched a movie until bed time. I put Savana to bed and I went to sleep around 10:30 p.m.

At 2 a.m. I was woken up by Anthony. He said a lady kept calling the house phone saying she was Joe’s girlfriend. When Joe came to see me, it was to see if we fit together and maybe start a “serious” relationship. I had been in a dead sleep and was really confused when Anthony woke me up. I got up and the phone rang. I answered it and it was a lady that was very upset. She was talking about how Joe had been dating her for a year and other things. I basically told her she would have to talk to him about it and to not keep calling.

I talked to Anthony about what was going on for a while. Trying to get things straight. Obviously Joe had not been completely honest with me, but it wasn’t the end of the world. I woke Joe up and told him what was going on. He denied everything and such…whatever. I wasn’t satisfied with his half answers. I came back out in the living room and talked to Anthony some more. I felt like I needed to talk to the lady that had called. I felt really sad for her. She had been so upset and I thought I had been a little calloused during our phone conversation earlier.

I called her back and we talked for a while, she answered a lot of my questions and I answered a lot of hers. That helped me get some things straight in my head and we plan on keeping in touch. After that I talked to Joe again. He still wasn’t really answering my questions and being evasive. I decided it was pointless to talk to him and went back to bed. I wanted to get some good sleep and figure out what to do in the morning.

What can be accomplished in a 22 hour day.

Got to bed at around midnight last night. I was planning on getting up at 7 a.m. Instead I woke up at 5 a.m. First thought that popped into my head was that my friends are coming to visit tomorrow. I was instantly excited and knew that there would not be anymore sleep. I decided to go to work early and get all my weekend jobs done. I made up 90 0z. of fresh squeezed oj and grabbed a quart sized ziplock bag of grapes. This excitement about my friend visiting is driving me crazy. I can’t figure out how to not be excited though. Every time I think about it I start jumping around. I am so excited that it is almost painful. I have to keep re-focusing on the here and now. Forcing myself to concentrate on being relaxed and taking deep breaths. It’s freaking ridiculous to feel this intensely excited! It will be nice to get back to my peaceful state of mind. Plus, IΒ  know this adrenaline rush that I am going full speed on is not going to last. I will crash…there is no doubt about that. I have a feeling it will happen after the excitement of seeing my friends wears off…I’m thinking Sunday I will collapse.

I cleaned 5 places today. The first two were businesses that I have from Friday morning to Sunday morning to clean, I figured I would just get them out of the way. The bike ride was 5 miles to the first one and a mile to the second one. The other three jobs were my regular every other Friday jobs, the next job was just one block from my second job. I drank 30 oz. of oj throughout the morning. The fourth job was Wylla and that was a 4 mile ride. My lunch with Wylla I was my bag of grapes of another 30 oz. of oj. After Wylla’s I went to the co-op, 4 miles and bought a 40 lb. case of banana’s. Rode a 1/2 mile to the bus stop and got on the bus.

While on the bus I decided that with my insanely busy day, this would be the best time to get my introduction in. Convientently there was a lady sitting next to me, she started talking to me about her day. So I asked her name and it was Mary, she wanted to know why I had some many banana’s and if I planned on making banana bread. I told her I ate a lot of fruit…no bread…I just eat them. I got off the bus at my stop and rode a mile with my banana’s to my last clients Bob and Maggie.Β  At Bob and Maggies I had a big salad with a lb. of mixed greens and my raw tahini, lemon dressing. After work it was a mile ride home.

I came home for about a half hour, grabbed another bag of grapes. I still have 30 oz. of oj to drink. Then rode 3 miles to my play. The play went great! Two people from my church came to see it. I just love the Mennonites! What members of any other church would come see “The Rocky Horror Show”? I ate my grapes and drank the rest of my oj during intermission.

After the play I was waiting for the lady borrowing my roommates car to come get me so I could have the car for the weekend in case I needed to pick up Anthony with his bicycle somewhere, when the phone rang. It was Anthony wanting to know if I could drive 60 miles to Ontario, Oregon to pick him up right now. Crazy how things work out like that. So I got the car and drove to Ontario. I was really tired by then. It was midnight and I had been going full speed all day on 5 hours of sleep.

It was so great to see Anthony. We had never met in person before. He had contacted me on facebook a few weeks ago and said he was a fruitarian traveling this way on his bicycle and he wanted to connect. We immediately bonded…fruit lovers seem to do that πŸ™‚ The drive back was great. We had great conversation and I was all jazzed up again. I had grabbed some grapes to bring and we snacked on those during the drive.

Back at my house we talked for a while longer. Ate some dates and finally went to bed at around 3 a.m. I had been awake 22 hours! Wow!

 

 

Somehow everything seems to work out for the best

Woke up at 5 a.m. Had bad dreams all night. Felt super dehydrated…ahh…that salt from the salsa at the buffet! I remember Doug Graham saying once you eat table salt that it takes 4 months for your body to recover. That’s not until February…aww…bummer.

I got up and drank a bunch of water. At 7:45 a.m. I had a physical therapy appointment for my shoulder, that I partially tore the rotator cuff on back in May. I wanted to get some more sleep before then, so I went back to bed, but I couldn’t fall asleep.Β  I was thinking about an e-mail that I had gotten the day before from a boyfriend that I had my senior year in high school. I hadn’t heard from him for 22 years. He found my web site when he was looking for organic and health food information. It was really great getting in touch with him! He is doing great..happily marriage, loves his job, two kids. It just gave me a warm fuzzy feeling to know that he is doing so well years later. I love making contact with people from my past and finding out they are having and have had a great life.

When I left for physical therapy I left Savana at home. She said she still had a sore throat. My physical therapy wasn’t very far away. I hadn’t been to therapy in two months. I had been traveling around. First I went to the fruit festival and then a couple weeks later I was at health and fitness week. When I was officially back in Boise I had my play practice, so I am just now getting back to it. It was very obvious that I hadn’t been working on my shoulder. When my therapist measured I had lost 10 degrees in movement. It’s time to get serious again about doing my exercises and getting my shoulder back to 100 %.

When I got home I made Savana some toast and applesauce for breakfast. I had 64 oz of a mango, fresh squeezed oj smoothie. The interim pastor of the Mennonite church came over to help me install my wood stove.Β  There was another guy from the church that was supposed to meet us…he didn’t show up so I called and he had forgot but said we could come to his house and get the tools we needed. So we drove there. The pastor got the tools while I was invited to pick as many grapes as I wanted off of their vines. I picked three big bags full by the time we left. Free food!!

After that we needed to go to a wood stove store to get the pipes. On the drive I ate a bunch of grapes. At the store we asked about a 5 inch pipe for my little wood stove. They didn’t sell 5 inch..only 6 and 8 inch. We would have to special order an adapter and it was going to cost $650.00 for all the pipeing.Β  We visited a couple of other stores and ran into the same thing. By that time we knew we wouldn’t have time to install the pipes even if we did get them. I was feeling really tired from waking up too early.Β  We decided to go back to my house and research other options. I suggested we stop at one of my neighbors on the corner. An older retired man and his wife live there named Ray and Joanne. Ray installed his wood stove, so I thought he might have some useful information.

I am so glad we did stop. Ray said he had a beautiful wood stove that included all the pipes for sale for $500.00. We took a look at it and it is so much nicer than the stove I have, and it has everything we needed. Score! I bought it! The pastor won’t have time to help me install it for 2 weeks, but I think I can make it until then.

Back at home Savana wanted more toast for lunch. I made myself a big salad with a lb. of mixed greens and my raw tahini, lemon dressing. It was really good and satisfying. I had a friend stop by and pick up an old rabbit cage that she wanted. I was supposed to go to my private yoga session and then Savana was supposed to go to voice lessons. She said she didn’t think she could sing with her throat hurting, so I canceled both things and decided to take a nap.Β  I was so tired, I thought I would sleep for a couple of hours. The phone woke me up a half hour later, it was my mom and she was in one of her negative moods. I managed to get off the phone quickly and even though I wanted to go back to sleep, it just wasn’t happening. So I got up and made up 95 0z. of fresh squeezed oj and bottled it up to take to my play performance.

My friend Anthony called me, the one I wrote about a couple of days ago traveling to Boise from upstate Montana on his bicycle. Anthony was about a 4 hour drive away from Boise, 240 miles and he was tired. He wanted to know if I could come get him. I really wished I could, but I didn’t have the car and I had to be at my play in a couple of hours. I suggested he rest for day or two and I could come get him on Saturday. He said he would call Saturday morning and let me know how he felt. I told him to call early because I had a friend I had to pick up at the airport at 2 p.m. So both the people coming to visit me might be visiting at the same time. It can be a fruit party! πŸ™‚

Savana’s grandma Lee had called and said she missed Savana and wanted her to stay the night. So when I left for my play I sent Savana over there. I got a call on my way out the door from a lady who wanted to do my consultation. Yay! I had a great talk with her on my bike ride to the play.

When I got to the play one of my 32 oz,jars of oj had broken and all the oj had spilled out. Oh well, I had the other 2 jars to hold me over and they did. The play performance was great! I felt fantastic and had tons of good energy to share. I realized before the play started that I hadn’t done my introduction for the day. Oh no! I quickly looked around and I didn’t know the lady sitting at the ticket table. I promptly went over and her name is Claudia.

I got home around 10 p.m. and was writing my blog when I got a chat message from Anthony on facebook. He is doing great, he made it to Riggins, Idaho. Only 160 more miles to go. He is going to try to do another 60 miles tomorrow and then he will call on Saturday and let me know what he wants to do. Yay Anthony!!!

It is 11 p.m., I just ate about 6 dates and I am headed to bed. I have four cleaning jobs tomorrow, plus my play. Need to get lots of rest πŸ™‚

Floating with joy.

Woke up at 6 a.m. this morning. I could hear my roommate was awake in his room and I hadn’t gotten to talk to him much, so I knocked on his door and he was getting ready to leave on a trip for a few days. We talked a little and then he started rubbing my shoulders which ended up being a half hour full shoulder, arms, hands and head massage. So wonderful first thing in the morning. I have to best roommate ever!

My roommate left and since Savana was staying home sick from school. I went back to bed until 9a.m. I got up and was getting ready to go to work, I canceled my other job for the day since Savana was sick, but this job was only a couple of hours and just down the road. Savana said she would be fine staying by herself and she could call me if she needed anything, I could be back home in 5 minutes time. A little before I was ready to leave, I talked to one of my friends that lives clear across the country and he is coming to visit me on Saturday. Yay!!! So super excited!

I was too excited to eat. So I just went to work. The job went great. I came back home and Savana had cleaned up her room…yay again! I made some fresh squeezed oj for Savana and myself. I mixed mine with 6 peaches. Had 64oz. worth. Savana drank her oj and had some applesauce.

My aunt had called me earlier in the week and she was in town from Omaha and wanted to have a family dinner at 3p.m. today. At the all you can eat food buffet…of course…that is the only place my grandpa will go. It is in a town about 30 miles away. I wasn’t about to make Savana ride her bike there with her being “sick”, even though she didn’t seem to be very sick…she said she still had a sore throat. So in order to get to the buffet by bus we had to leave at 1p.m. I rode my long board and Savana rode her scooter to the bus stop. We got downtown and had 20 minutes to spare until we caught the next bus. We rode all around downtown for the fun of it. It was a beautiful sunny warm day.

We got on the next bus, which would only take us about 5 miles from where the buffet was. I called my grandpa and he said he would come pick us up. We had a 45 minute wait before grandpa got there. Savana and I relaxed on the grass and basked in the sun. I was so happy and peaceful. I just let my mind drift as I lay there, so warm and comfortable. I felt like I was floating and this intense joy came over me. I’ve only reached this place once before, a couple of years ago after being all raw for a couple of months. It was such a wonderful feeling, so light and pleasurable…almost like an orgasm, but gentler…sweeter and not sexual. This feeling lasted about 5 minutes, before I slowly I floated back to reality. What a fantastic experience!

My grandpa and his wife Ginny were in the car with my Aunt driving. We got to the buffet and there were a lot of other family members already there. My cousin that I haven’t seen in years and years was there. It was so great to see her and catch up on what she was doing with her life. She has 2 boys, one 11 and the other 4. They were great kids, very polite and well behaved. There were other distant family members there. Good time to get my introductions in for the day. Their names were Bernie and Jan. The daughter of my grandpa’s brother and her husband.Β  All in all dinner was great. Only a little drama going on…but I just ignored it and smiled πŸ™‚ I started out the meal feasting on melons. Then I switched to salad. I used a salsa that was there for a dressing. I am sure it had salt in it because I didn’t feel good afterward. I also did bad food combining. I try not to ever mix melons with other food, because bad things tend to happen. This was no exception.

After dinner Savana rode her scooter and I, my long board…a couple of blocks away to the bus stop. Conveniently there was a bus going back to Boise that was right by the buffet. It was the slow bus…so Savana and I settled in for the hour and a half ride. My stomach hurt so bad. At times I thought I might throw up, thankfully that didn’t happen. I tried sleeping a little, but my head felt too dizzy. By the time we got back to Boise I was feeling better. Whew…a short one. It did get me thinking though, I have been towing the line with food lately…with the rice and then today…and there has been consequences. I think tomorrow I want to get way back into the safe zone. Back to mono meals and sticking with what I know my body thrives on.

Once we transferred buses and I introduced myself to a new bus driver. We got off at the nearest stop to my house, which is about a mile away. It was a fun ride. I kept switching feet. I naturally lead with my left foot, but then I only work out one side of my body. So I’ve taught myself to lead with my right foot as well, it is such a strange feeling and I go much slower…I love the challenge, and find it to be so much fun.

Back at home I chugged a bunch of water, since I felt like I was dieing of thirst. Then I did laundry and folded clothes. At 8:40p.m. there was a lady who wanted me to call into her radio show. We did a short interview on the radio and it was such a great time. I hope I sounded ok…it’s hard to tell what I sound like…I don’t want to sound like a complete idiot..ha! Anyway, I enjoyed myself.

After the interview I decided I was going to wax my mustache. Savana loves it when I wax, she thinks it’s a party where you put wax all over and scream in pain as you tear it off. We had fun waxing, we had to show each other how much hair we got…good thing Savana got rid of all of that peach fuzz! It was starting to look ridiculous! lol

After waxing Savana got put to bed and I ate about 3 dates and wrote my blog. It’s 10:30 p.m. and I am off to bed.

Biking in the rain and soaking up the sun

October 11, 2011

Woke up at 6:45 a.m. Felt groggy and hung over from the rice the night before. Got Savana up to get ready for school. Made her breakfast, oatmeal and applesauce and then made a sack lunch for her field trip, peanut butter and jelly sandwich and a granola bar. Sent her off to catch the school bus and realized about 15 minutes later that she had forgotten her sack lunch. When the office at her school opened at 8:30 I called to see when she was leaving on the fieldtrip. They said they were leaving in 5 minutes. Not enough time to bike her lunch to her. I would just have to bring it to the Boise Art Museum where her field trip was at.

I made a coconut water, persimmon and banana smoothie for breakfast. Drank all 50 oz, my stomach was still a little yucky, but getting better. Then I made 60 oz. of coconut water, peach smoothie, bottled it up to take with me.

I looked outside and thought it might rain a little bit. I put on my new rain jacket. It is so fancy…I haven’t owned anything that fancy in years…I usually get everything used and it’s hard to find a nice rain jacket that is used. I didn’t put on rain pants, I figured it wouldn’t rain that much. As soon as I stepped out the door, the rain came pouring down hard. I unlocked the door, came back inside and promptly put on my rain pants. I thought with my new rain jacket I would be happy to ride in the rain. Not so! I still didn’t like it one bit. Nothing like being pelted in the face with rain drops. I was trying to have a good attitude about it…I don’t think it worked. I kept seeing the sky behind me to the west, it was as blue as could be, slowly inching my way. Hurry up! I kept thinking. What is taking so long???!!!

I make it the 5 miles to the Boise Art Museum. Savana’s lunch bag is soaking wet. I go dripping wet inside. The lady at the front desk was not impressed. I handed her the wet lunch bag to give to Savana…she was even less impressed…lol. Holding it out front her with her, trying not to touch it. Too funny. Guess she wouldn’t be up for a bike ride in the rain.

I came out of the museum and had 15 minutes to ride around downtown before I had to meet an old friend to sign some paper work for a car I had given her mom years ago. Her mom passed away a few years back and they were having trouble with getting the title or something like that and the car wasn’t running anymore, just taking up room in her driveway and she wanted it gone.

So in my little bit of time I rode to Flying M, on the way I saw the guy I had written about in my blog yesterday. The one that had beaten up my neighbor lady. He was standing on a corner and he saw me as I was passing by. He yelled out for me to stop and come talk to him. I just ignored him and kept on riding. It was strange seeing him after writing about him the day before. Maybe I manifested him by writing….anyway…I hope I don’t manifest him again.

When I got to Flying M I bought 58 oz. of fresh squeezed oj. While standing in line I noticed that the sun had come out. I took my oj’s outside and stood in the bright warm sun while I drank my juice. I got a phone call from the friend I was supposed to meet and she figured things out and didn’t need me to sign any paper work after all. Yay! I didn’t have to rush off right away. I had some free time before heading to work out in Eagle..a 10 mile bike ride.

I had to go use the bathroom and I didn’t want to bring my backpack with me. There were none of my people around, so I asked a couple of young women sitting down from me if they would watch my bag for me. I also thought this would be a great time to get my daily introduction in, so their names were Shamaska (sp?) and the other one I forgot other than it started with a D.

After I left Flying M I stopped at a couple of second hand stores and looked around. Didn’t see anything I really needed. By then it was time to head to work. The ride out was great. It was so warm I had to take off my rain jacket and sweater and I rode out in my t-shirt. Got lots of sun πŸ™‚ Even had a little bit of a head wind, but it was warm and I didn’t mind it at all. I had to climb two hills to get there, which was fun because I got to use my new climbing gear that I had put on my bike on Friday. It worked perfectly.

The people I clean for in Eagle are wonderful, Russ and Janet…all my clients are wonderful. This couple goes to the Mennonite church and I love their energy. They are the ones that gave me their old wood stove when they bought a new one and Russ helped me put up my tile wall to get ready for the wood stove. Now all I have to do is get the pipes and it’s ready to go…yay…which should be happening on Thursday…some other Mennonites are helping me do that πŸ™‚

While I was cleaning, Janet came in from her garden and gave me some fresh picked celery…which I immediately ate all of and some fresh picked grapes…I immediately ate all of those as well. Yummy free food! It is so wonderful how I take care of my clients and they take care of me back. Happy, happy, happy!

On the way to my next job I had a tail wind. It was easy riding…about 7 miles. I got to Bob and Maggie’s on time. Maggie hadn’t been feeling very good and she looked really sick. I think me being there cheered her up some and she seemed to start feeling better. I made them dinner and cleaned. While I was cleaning my daughter called and said she had a sore throat and was sick. School had just gotten out and the interim Mennonite pastor was picking her up to talk to her because she wants to get baptized. She said she felt well enough to still meet with the pastor so I didn’t have to go get her.

After that my friend Anthony called me. He is traveling on his bicycle from Whitefish, Montana…eating fruit as his fuel πŸ™‚ He left on his trip a couple of days ago. I had been wondering how he was doing. I was really glad he called. He just crossed the Idaho border and would be in Boise in three or four days. He is doing good and having great adventures..he said he can’t wait to tell me about them when he sees me. I can’t wait to hear about them! I feel like jumping up and down with excitement just thinking about it.

Savana was going to stay the night with her grandma Lee but now that she was sick I thought that probably wouldn’t be the best idea. So I called Lee…who is not her legal grandma, but was there when she was born and has always been grandma to Savana…Lee said she would prefer to not have a sick girl. I had plans that evening to hang out with my friend Will, biking around downtown and taking random pictures. I sent Will a text that I had to cancel…which we were both bummed about, but daughters come first.

After work I rode to the fruit stand and bought a case of oranges, a bunch of lemons and grapefruit. Then I rode a mile home. I had Savana come home and I made her a big glass of fresh squeezed oj. For myself I cut up two heads of lettuce and mixed them with raw lemon, tahini dressing. Put in all in a huge bowl and ate it up. It was very very yummy. Later Savana said she was hungry still. I didn’t want her to have any heavy cooked food until she got better. She didn’t want anymore oj, so I gave her some applesauce.Β  I like how with her being sick she actually listens to me when I tell her what foods she should be eating. Ha! She does think I know what I’m talking about after all πŸ™‚

Savana is off to bed. I am going to take a hot bath and head to bed myself.

Hasta manana!

 

23 years of carrying anger….time to shed that weight.

October 10th, 2011

Slept in today. It was so very nice after going non stop for a couple of weeks. Got up at 9 a.m. Since I didn’t work today I was going to get some things done around the house that I have been wanting to do for a long time.

Savana woke up at 11. I made her oatmeal and applesauce for breakfast. I had a durian. Savana went into her room and started making a home made photo album. She is so good at finding fun creative things to do all on her own. I think that is just wonderful.

I re-potted one of my carnivorous plants. Put up some shelves. Cleaned out my kitchen cupboards and organized them. Cleaned out a big wooden chest that I keep scrap material in. I also wrote a hand written letter to a friend.

For lunch I made Savana some potatoes and I had half a watermelon.

After lunch I wanted to do some laundry. There was some bedding I needed to wash and I didn’t want to wash it by hand. I usually use the neighbors washing machine across the street if I don’t wash by hand and give him a couple bucks for it. He was in the middle of doing a load. So I went down to the trailer on the corner to ask the lady there if I could use her washer. She was happy to share. One thing I’ve come to learn in my 4 years of living in this trailer court, that living among people who are dirt poor, there are some that are willing to share the little bit they do have. I stayed while the clothes were washing and talked to her. I had been wondering how she was doing anyway and this was a great way to catch up. A couple of years ago she had a boyfriend that was much younger than her and he was very abusive. One day when he was beating on her, she ran out her door and down the street. This guy chased her down and started hitting her in the middle of the street. I was at work when this happened, which is good or I would have flipped out…baseball bat in hand. Another lady that lived in the park called the cops and went out and pulled him off of her. He went to jail and was not allowed to come within a football field of the lady he beat up. As soon as he got out of jail he was back. Thankfully she called the police right away and now he can’t come in contact with her until August of 2013.

I couple of months ago I saw the abusive guy downtown. I was talking to one of my homeless friends Ronnie when two guys walked up. Ronnie told me these were his new friends. I looked over and one of them was that guy. He looked straight at me and said “you still living in the same place?”. He had the darkest, coldest energy I have ever felt. I told Ronnie I had to go and just left. I was not in a safe place and I could feel it. I wonder how someone gets to be that evil…they had to have had horrible things happen to them. How does someone learn to feel love and compassion for someone like that? I’m not saying to put yourself in a dangerous situation, but learning to feel love and compassion for someone while knowing you can’t be around them. I still have so much anger toward one of my step dad’s that beat the hell out of me when I was 16. I guess it’s time to work on forgiving him and letting go of that anger I’ve been carrying around for a lot of years, 23 years to be exact. I had forgot I was carrying that anger until now. Ahh…wake up call πŸ™‚

So anyway, the lady on the corner is doing great. She is going to school and keeping busy. We had a fun chat. I gave her a couple of dollars for letting me use her washer. I walked back home and was hanging my clothes on the line when it started to sprinkle a little bit of rain. I didn’t need any of the clothes right away, so I didn’t mind them getting rained on. I actually like it because then when they do dry they smell like rain πŸ™‚ Just after I came back inside it started pouring down hard. I was so glad to be inside, cozy and warm and not having to go to work. There were some things in the garden that I wanted to get done but I figured it could wait until my next day off.

At 6 p.m. I was meeting a woman that my roommate had said could use his car for the week. I said I would take the car to her. I wanted to run a couple of errands so I left at a little before 5 with Savana. We stopped at the costume shop and Savana got some things for her Halloween costume. I introduced myself to the lady helping us, she seemed like a very happy bouncy person and her name is Alex. We then went to the co-op and I returned hair dye that Savana changed her mind about. I wanted to get a good rain jacket before I had to go to work the next day and I wanted to support local businesses. We drove up to “Benchmark” to check out their rain jackets. They had some good ones that I liked but I wanted to check out one more place. So we drove to “Idaho Mountain Touring” and that was the where I decided to spend my money. I am very very picky about how I spend my money. I want as much of it as possible to stay local. I can’t bear to think of my hard earned dollar going into the pocket of some corporate CEO. I really like the rain jacket I got, it fits really good and I look sexy in it. I want to look sexy year round. I am tired of looking frumpy in the cold and rain. I want to show off my curves…ha!

I made it right on time at 6 to give the woman my roommates car. I drove us to my house first, she seemed to have had a bad day. Her energy was very chaotic, I practiced refocusing her and asked her about the classesΒ  she is taking at college. She started talking about a very interesting class about Islam and Muslim history. The class sounds fascinating and she really enjoyed talking about it and seemed to have calmed down by the time we got to my house. Off she went with the car and I was glad to be rid of it. Pampering time for me was starting to turn into plain old laziness and I wanted to quit relying on the car and get back to my bike.

For dinner I made Savana some plain brown rice and I decided that I could have some as well, instead of making a salad or having some fruit..which I have plenty of in the house. Not a good decision! I had a stomach ache and slight headache for the rest of the night. I woke up in the night several times with my stomach hurting. Ok body! I’m sorry!

Is it humble to strive for humility?

Woke up at 6:45 a.m. Feeling a little bit stuffed up, but much better than yesterday morning. Woke up Savana. Was trying to decide if I should bike to church or use my roommates car. I was still feeling chilled and having a hard time maintaining my body temperature. I decided that if I took the car it would not be the lazy decision, instead it would be pampering myself until I fully recover from my cold. So I took the car to work, with the heater blasting….ahh…so toasty warm! On the way I stopped at Flying M and got 56oz. of fresh squeezed oj, Savana got 14 oz. and a cinnamon roll.

My job today was to clean the Mennonite church and I had to get it done before church started at 9:30 a.m. I was able to get it cleaned with 5 minutes to spare. It was pretty messy today now that some of the leaves are starting to fall, there is a lot of tracking in leaf bits and pieces…so it goes.

I was thinking that after I cleaned I would just go home and go back to bed. Once people started showing up though, it was so good to see all my wonderful friends and I was feeling pretty good, so I stayed. Savana was not happy with my decision. She was tired and crabby and wanted to go back home. She got quite a little 11 year old attitude with me. So we had to step to the side and have a talk…basically it was me telling her to knock it off or there would be consequences. I wasn’t sure how well that talk went as she stomped off the Sunday school. I was feeling like I was sort of lost, being a mom is so hard sometimes. I want to do the right thing and make the right decisions, but I don’t know what those are half the time.

I shrugged it off and went back out to socialize. Everyone was asking me about my play and how they were going to try to go see it. It is so wonderful to me to be involved with a church that supports me being in “The Rocky Horror Show”…and most of them have seen it! I love that about the Boise Mennonites. That is one reason why I even go there. Not one person there has ever asked me what I believe, religious wise. They figure it’s no ones business but my own. I don’t even believe in “God” in any conventional religious belief. No one cares…they let me lead the worship service once every other month, they have me on the worship committee. The sermons are not about saving others or what religion is the right religion, who’s sinning and who’s not. They are about being a better person, self healing and growth and that is what I am about. I want to become the best person I can be in my lifetime.

During adult morning class we talked about humility. It was a great discussion. A good point was brought up about laughter and humility going together…with the idea of being able to laugh at ourselves. Also we talked about if you even strive for humility..is that being humble? Good question! I loved the topic and we gave examples of people we knew that practiced humility. Great stuff.

After church service there was a new young couple there…yay…I could get in my introductions in right away. There names were Ryan and Katie. Katie works for the sierra club. Right on! Perfect fit for the church. We are a group of environmentalists for sure. You should see the bike rack every Sunday, it is packed full. I get almost giddy just looking at all those bikes.

After church we went to the co-op. Savana was back to being her happy self…whew! I let Savana get some herbal hair dye, she wanted to die her hair black for Halloween. I bought some dates and persimmons and some food for Savana. I was trying to decide if I wanted to stay downtown and go to an Occupy Boise gathering at 2, or if I should go home and get some rest. The idea of getting rest won out. As much as I wanted to go to the gathering and I knew a lot of my friends would be there, I wanted to take care and love myself back into perfect health again even more.

I came home and wrote my blog for yesterday. I ate a one of the durians I had bought the day before. It was not a very good one. Then Savana watched a movie on the laptop while I took a nap. I didn’t realized how extremely tired I was. I fell asleep instantly and it was a hard deep sleep. My dreams were fun…I was floating around following energies. Beautiful, wonderful feelings in my dreams. I woke up to my phone ringing which was good. I had slept longer than I thought I would and it was time for me to get up and get ready to go to dinner. I ran a hot bath and soaked in the tub for a while, getting warm, I was still feeling really chilled.

The Mennonite church has a fun event where get groups of people together to have dinner and get to know more about each other…it is called “supper for several”. It was my groups night to meet. I made up a bunch of banana, peach smoothie and bottled it up to take. I was running late and didn’t have time to bike, plus I was still feeling run down, so I took Steve’s car.

I made it to dinner and one of the ladies had brought a salad. She had told me earlier at church she was not going to put anything in it that was not aΒ  fruit or vegetable so that I could eat it. It is so great how very accommodating everyone is at these dinners. They are always happy to make sure they include me in their food preparations. Since I knew about the salad ahead of time I had brought ingredients for my raw tahini lemon dressing and I made it up real quick making sure I made enough that everyone else could try it as well.

Dinner conversation was great. I shared a little about the fruit festival and about keeping in contact with other fruitarians from around the world. Others talked about great things they were doing, interesting things about their work, trips they had gone on recently and how they spent their days while working. Such good energy and wonderful, encouraging people to be around. I was happy to be among my people πŸ™‚Β  I had some of my smoothie and then salad with my dressing, I also had some plain brown rice that had nothing on it. I did get a very slight headache after eating the rice, but not terribly bad. It was all good.

After dinner, Savana and I came home and settled down for the night. Neither of us have to get up in the morning. Yay! I have the day off tomorrow and I am going to just take it easy. I want to be back to 100% by Tuesday so I can get back on my bike and hit the ground running πŸ™‚