Days 44 and 45 in Costa Rica

 

 

 

 

 

 

Woke up at 2:30a.m. Read until I was able to fall back asleep. Woke up again at 7a.m. I thought I would be really sore from the day before, which I was sore, but not as much as I thought. My knees were really achy and that was about it.

BREAKFAST: watermelon

After breakfast I felt extremely tired and exhausted. I realized that I had gotten sunburned again while I was out crawling my way home the day before. One of the ladies with a room said I could lie down on her bed. I fell asleep for about an hour. I stayed in bed resting and wrote my blog. I started messing around with my website, trying to change the title. I changed some things with the url and was immediately taken out and asked to put in my user name and password for access. I typed those in and was told it didn’t recognize me. I tried every name and password I’d ever used and I still wasn’t allowed access. I was getting very frustrated.

In the mean time I got a skype call from my friend Robert in Norway. I met him at the fruit festival last year. We had a really nice talk. He is not sure if he can make the festival this year or not. I hope he can, it would be great to see him again.

LUNCH: banana/mango smoothie, banana, celery and lettuce

After lunch I came back in the room and lied down on the bed some more. I still felt very tired and weak.

I spent a few more hours trying to figure out how to get access to my website. I e-mailed the person who set it up and he told me he couldn’t get access either. So I figured it was up to me to solve the problem. I read through pages and pages of wordpress help files that I didn’t understand a word of. I kept trying and trying until it was time for dinner. Right before dinner the lady who was sharing her bed with me came in and was talking to me. I was feeling really sad and I didn’t know why. She sat and talked with me for a few minutes. I was sharing how scared and alone I had felt the day before helpless out in the sun getting sunburned. She pointed out that maybe it had triggered memories from when I was a baby, alone, helpless and getting my leg burned with hot water. I just started crying. This was deep stuff and I didn’t want to go there. I wanted to eat some cooked carbs or fats to numb the pain I was feeling. There wasn’t that option here, I was bare and had no choice but to feel those emotions. I cried for a while and my friend crawled up next to me and held me while I let it all out.

DINNER: OJ/marion berry juice; Mango, celery, OJ, cucumber soup; kale wraps with a dipping sauce.

Dinner was really good and satisfying. I had to leave a little early to do my rescheduled phone consult. The phone consult went wonderfully. I am so proud of that client, she is determined at all costs to become healthy and heal her body.

When the consult was over I called my son Scott. We had a really good talk. Then I caught up on my blog. Tried to access my website again until 8:30p.m. I was too tired to try anymore so I sent the guy that set up my website a giving up message. I figured if I couldn’t access the website and he couldn’t access the website…that make it pretty much inaccessible.

I soaked in the hot tub for a few minutes, read a little to calm my mind and went to sleep around 9:30p.m.

 

Day 45

Woke up in the middle of the night again and read for a couple of hours. I don’t know what my deal is with not sleeping all night. This rarely happens to be back home.

I got up again at 7a.m. Soaked in the hot tub and went to the great room. I checked my e-mail first to see if there was any progress on my website. I had a message from my website guy and he said he figured out how to fix it. I was really happy about that!

BREAKFAST: papaya

After breakfast I went and lied down in the room I was able to use the day before. I was still not feeling like I had very much energy.

I posted a new recipe page on my website and updated my blog. Then I read for a while and took a half hour nap. I wanted to sleep longer but I had to get up to do lunch prep.

Lunch prep went well. Everyone thought we were behind and weren’t going to be done on time, but we all hurried along and finished right on time.

LUNCH: banana/mango smoothie, bananas, celery and lettuce

When lunch was over I called my mom. She said that she had found some great renters for my rental house and they were going to move in on Feb. 15th. They paid their deposit, the rest of Feb. and March rent. She also said they had wonderful references and were very clean neat people. I was so glad to hear all of that! That made one less thing to deal with when I got home. I knew everything was going to work out.

I worked on my website for a while, trying to figure out how to make different categories to put recipes in. I couldn’t figure it out, but I learned a lot on how to change things on my website.

I was feeling really sad again. I just wanted to crawl into a hole. Processing all these emotions was getting to be too intense for me. If only I could run away from myself or find a way to escape. Just make it stop!! I felt like I couldn’t do it anymore. I wasn’t strong enough.

During the afternoon meeting I was asked how this diet had changed my life. I shared all the emotions that were coming out and how eating this way made this release possible. There were no escapes, no drugs, no eating numbing foods. Just bare exposure.

DINNER: OJ blended with mango; thai soup; India salad.

All through dinner I cried. I was terribly embarrassed about it, but I couldn’t make it stop. I was given many hugs and shown lots of love. I wish I knew of a way to pull myself out of this funk I’m in. Can’t I get a break from this emotional cleanse?

I managed to make it through dinner, when it was over I worked on my website a while more. Soaked in the hot tub, read and read and read. I decided that reading was my only escape right now, so that’s what I was going to do until I felt better. At 10:30p.m. I finished my book and I fell asleep.

CASSEROLE

 CASSEROLE

2 zucchini slightly dehydrated and chopped into small pieces

1/2 head shredded cabbage

2 celery stalks chopped small

5 button mushrooms chopped small

SAUCE:

2 scallions

4 tomatoes

2 red pepper

2 mangos

Blend all the sauce ingredients together until smooth and creamy. Put the sauce into a large bowl. Add the chopped vegetables. Mix them all together with the sauce. Pour into a casserole dish and put in the dehydrator for 1 hour until warmed all the way through. Serve warm

POTATO SALAD

“POTATO” SALAD

1 bunch of cauliflower slightly dehydrated to soften

1 bunch of celery

1 apple with peel

3 green onions

1/2 avocado or less…mashed

dill

parsley

mustard greens

Cut up the cauliflower, celery, and apple and put in a large bowl. Add the mashed avocado and mix into the vegetables. Add some dill, parsley and mustard greens all chopped very small to taste. Serve cold

 

Days 42 and 43 in Costa Rica

Day 42

Woke up at 5:30a.m. I really didn’t want to be awake. I snuggled up in my sleeping bag for a while trying to go back to sleep but it wasn’t working. I gave up and got in the hot tub. Then I came up to the great room and checked my e-mail until breakfast.

BREAKFAST: watermelon and papaya

After breakfast I wrote my blog. I’ve gotten behind a few days and was working on catching up again.

I was in charge of sunning fruit today. Christie had brought all the papaya and pineapple out to sun and turned them. My job was to bring them back in. It took about an hour to carry 67 papayas and 35 pineapples back in and put them away. My back was very sore again after that. I was looking forward to Doug’s adjustment later that day.

LUNCH: banana/mango smoothie, bananas, celery and lettuce

I had just sat down and poured myself a glass. Then I got up to refill the empty pitcher with smoothie so we could have more at our table. As soon as I got in the kitchen I was told Clarissa wanted me to cut up some more celery. So I quickly refilled the pitcher and cut some celery up and put it out. Then I was told that wasn’t enough celery. I was becoming very frustrated because I just wanted to drink my smoothie and sit down for 10 minutes. I grabbed my glass and took it in the kitchen with me so I could at least have some lunch while I was cutting up more celery. As soon as I finished Clarissa told me she wanted me to start on lunch clean up right away because she wanted to start dinner prep early again. Arg. I chugged a couple of glasses of smoothie and started cleaning up.

Once lunch was cleaned up I gave Jerome a haircut. Then Jerome gave a lecture on how to learn a language in 7 days. It was a really great lecture and I was happy to start practicing right away.

When the lecture was over one of the walking tour guests led a yoga class up the yoga room. It was so nice doing yoga again. I’ve missed doing yoga. I want to start doing it on my own until I get back to Boise and start up my private lessons with Tim again. Well see if I can fit that in.

I was feeling pretty stretched and thought it would be a good time to get my back adjustment. I found Doug and asked him if now would be a good time. He said to find him right before dinner. Also Doug and Grant asked me to remind the interns to finish turning in their homework and taking their exams from our classes. I was sure everyone would be happy to hear that! I went in the kitchen and relayed the message to the interns. I got a lot of shrugs and eye-rolls….lol. About what I expected…haha…I haven’t turned in all of my work either and I don’t know if I will get to it before this is over. I will turn it in after I get home and have a few days off.

DINNER: OJ; tomato/mango/celery soup; potato salad; casserole

Dinner was fabulous. The potato salad was so good and tasted just like potato salad. I will have to ask Clariss what spices she put it in.

As dinner was starting Doug pulled me aside, took me in the great room. He had a very serious look and I was sure I was going to get reamed out. Instead he gave me a back adjustment. I told him that his serious look scares me and then he gave me a smile. J My back feels much better! Yay!

I was a server at dinner and every time I would go into the kitchen I would talk to Sarai in Spanish to practice. We were having great fun. I pointed at the dishes at said fregas los platos..(if I remembered it right)..it means to wash the dishes. She’d grab a ladle and chase me around the kitchen. Then she would swear at me in Spanish. I kept looking up sassy words in my Spanish book and say them just to get another her going again. We were both laughing and having a good time with it all.

After dinner I messaged my friend E for a while. Then soaked in the hot tub, read and went to sleep at around 9p.m.

 

Day 43

Woke up at 7a.m. Yay…I slept through the night. Breakfast will be starting an hour earlier this morning from now on so people can go on the walks for a longer amount of time between breakfast and lunch before it gets too hot.

I quickly got in the hot tub and headed up to breakfast.

BREAKFAST: watermelon

I ate light because I knew I was going on a long hike today and didn’t want to be weighed down too much.

The hike started out great. We climbed and climbed and climbed, very steep hills. My legs were starting to get a little wobbly on one of the last big climbs. Grant helped push me up the hill, which was great. I don’t think I would have made it otherwise. We finally made it to the top of the road. I was feeling pretty weak by then, but figured I would be fine since coming back would be downhill most of the way. I was very thirsty, and even though I’d drunk a bunch of water before I left it obviously wasn’t enough. I stopped at a couple of fresh streams and drank my fill of the spring water. It tasted so amazing!

My sandal on my right foot was rubbing my burn scars and making a sore. So I took my sandals off and tried to walk barefoot, but it was slow going and I was the last one. Grant offered to carry me on his back for a ways, which was a nice break. Then he offered his socks if that would help. I said that would be great. Once the socks were on the sandal wasn’t rubbing at all anymore.

I continued going down and was still feeling really wobbly, I also had a slight headache. Everyone else was quite a ways ahead of me, but I didn’t mind. I liked walking by myself. After a while Drew came back and walked with me to where everyone had stopped to take a swim. I hobbled down to the water and plopped in. It felt so good on my hot skin. I drank some more and my headache went away.

Everyone was heading back so Danielle helped me stand up, but my legs were feeling pretty much useless by then. I’d been out walking for 2 and a half hours by that time. Most everyone passed me walking back. I was just shuffling along, but I felt like I could make it if I just went at my own pace.

 

I got to a little hill about a mile from the retreat and I just couldn’t walk anymore. I sat down on the side of the road to rest for a bit and see if that helped. One of the last people walking that had been behind me stopped to see if I was all right. I told her I just needed to rest for a bit, then I felt I would be fine. She went on and I sat there with my eyes closed resting for a while. Then I managed to get to my feet and walk a little farther. I needed to rest every few minutes. I couldn’t feel my legs by then. I would somehow get to my feet and then use the bushes on the side of the road to hold me up.

A young couple stopped to ask if I was ok and gave me some water. I told them I was almost there. Which I was…only about a half mile to go. I would crawl along the side of the road in the grassy areas and if there was no grass I sat on my butt and scooted. I was just making it around the last corner when a car stopped and asked if I needed help. He only spoke Spanish, I pointed to the retreat sign and he went on. I was so happy to get to the gate. I only had the long driveway to go. It had taken me 45 minutes to get that last mile. I collapsed on the ground at the gate and rested for a while, crying. Chris Kendall was saying that when you push your body to extremes there is always an emotional detox, well mine was coming on strong. It felt so good to cry, I just let it come. I didn’t even care how loud I was, I just cried and cried. I was so grateful that I had made it to the gate. I knew that someone would come looking for me eventually if I didn’t make it down the driveway. I had lunch clean up. Someone would come looking for me when I didn’t show up for that.

I started scooting my way down the driveway. Then I tried rolling down, but I just got dizzy. So I scooted some more until I got to where the cabins were. Then I just lied down and cried some more.

Stephanie saw me in the driveway and came over. I was covered in dirt and tears. I told her I made it back and cried some more. She said that she was just coming to look for me. Then other people came over and gave me some water and some bananas smoothie. I could only take little sips, I was shaking really bad.

Grant came over and couldn’t believe that he hadn’t seen me when him and Drew came up behind everyone. I didn’t see them either; it had to have been when I was sitting with my eyes closed for a while.

Danielle and a few others helped me into a lawn chair and gave me some celery. The celery made me feel a lot better. Danielle was rubbing my legs and I just cried off an on.

One of the ladies said I could lie down in her room for a while. I was concerned because I had a consult call that I needed to make at 2p.m. Danielle said she would call and reschedule for me, which she did. Then I was helped to lie down in the room. I instantly fell asleep and slept 3 hours. I woke up a half hour before dinner when another lady that shared the room came in. She was telling me that the talk this afternoon was about emotions. She got a lot out of it and told me what was said. It sounded like a great talk and I want to get the video of it from Kevin. At 5p.m. I hobbled to dinner. I was glad to have my legs back, even if they were really wobbly still.

DINNER: OJ; mushroom, tomato, mango, celery soup; partial dried zucchini halves with warmed “sloppy joe” on top. The dinner was really good. I went crazy chugging the juice.

After dinner I called Shawn and Savana. I didn’t get a chance to call Scott because the video started before I got to it. I will have to call him tomorrow. I didn’t get to talk to him last weekend, so I wanted to make sure I talked to him this weekend.

My daughter is ready for me to come home. I am ready to go home too.

After the video a lady helped me down the steps to the hot tub. We both soaked for a while. The warm water felt really good on my legs. I read for a while and went to sleep around 8:30 p.m.

Days 40 and 41 in Costa Rica

Day 40

I woke up in the middle of the night thinking it was morning. The full moon was so incredibly bright. My friend E had messaged me right before bed and told me he was chasing the moon tonight. I rested there on my little lawn chair thinking of us both chasing the moon. Later on I decided I’d better read if I was ever going to fall back asleep.

I woke up again at 7a.m. and read for a while longer until time for breakfast.

BREAKFAST: watermelon and papaya

At breakfast Danielle and another intern were saying the work schedule wasn’t done very well. I was getting real tired of listening to everyone going off about the work schedule. Grant and I worked hard to get that schedule together and did the best we could. I snapped and told Danielle that maybe she could do the schedule herself next time and do a better job of it. Then I got up and walked into the other room. I knew I was acting ridiculous; I just lost it for a minute. Danielle followed me and told me she was sorry and didn’t mean anything by what she was saying. I told her it was fine and it was just me dealing with my stuff.

After breakfast I worked on food quality for 2 and a half hours to get everything cleaned out and ready for the food truck’s arrival tomorrow. When that was finished I had a half hour to check my e-mail really quick before lunch.

LUNCH: banana smoothie, bananas, celery and lettuce

After lunch I did a phone consult for an hour. My client wanted someone to come and stay with her at her house to help get her into eating healthy again. I knew I couldn’t do that because of my daughter, so I referred her to Chris Kendall. After the consult I worked on my e-mails and blog until it was time for dinner.

DINNER: OJ blended with mango and fresh vanilla; tomato mango soup, lettuce

I was feeling happy again after dinner. My spell of feeling down and unattractive seemed to have passed.

After dinner I finished my e-mails and chatted with E on the internet for a while.

Then I sat in the hot tub, read and went to sleep around 9p.m.

It was a pretty uneventful day.

Day 41

Woke up in the middle of the night again. I read until my book was finished. It was a fun book. A murder mystery that I had found on the bookshelf at the retreat. Not my usual kind of book, but it was a pleasant change, with a happy ending.

I woke up again at 6:30a.m. The hot tub was looking really murky so I drained and refilled it. It took longer than I thought, about 45 minutes. I finished just in time to run up and start breakfast prep.

BREAKFAST: papaya and cantaloupe

After breakfast I checked my e-mail until the food truck arrived. We didn’t get as much food this time. Thankfully! We barely made it through half of what we ordered last time. On the food truck was a surprise guest…Chris Kendall! I was so happy to see Chris. He is such an amazing guy. I told him I sent a lady his way and he said he had gotten an e-mail from her. I felt she was in really good hands with Chris. He knows his stuff.

I relaxed for about a half hour until lunch was served.

LUNCH: banana/mango smoothie, celery and lettuce

When lunch was over I gave Doug a quick trim. Then I had to do dinner prep early at 1:30p.m. During dinner prep my middle back was really sore and having spasms. After a couple of hours I couldn’t take it anymore and told Clarissa I needed to sit down for just a minute. She took me over to a lawn chair and rubbed my back for a few minutes. It felt much much better. I was able to finish the rest of dinner prep with no problem.

DINNER: slice of sour sop; coconut water; OJ blended with mango and Marion berry; tomato/celery/mango soup.

One of the ladies had broken a vase and cut her finger. I volunteered to take over her serving position for her, which I was happy about because I love serving at dinner.

After dinner I watched the slide show and then had one the ladies that weighs 95 lbs. walk on my back. It seemed to help it a little bit. I also had Chris Kendall squeeze me and try to adjust it. I felt a little bit move around in there. Just to make things really good I asked Doug if he would be willing to give me an adjustment tomorrow afternoon. He said that would be no problem.

I was going to go to bed, but the evening session was people telling jokes and reading poetry. It was a lot of fun, so I decided I would stay and go to bed later.

When that was over I sat in the hot tub for a while with Chris and Drew. Then read and went to sleep at around 10p.m.

Days 38 and 39 in Costa Rica

Day 38

Woke up at 5:30a.m. I stayed in bed and read for a while until I dozed off a little. I wasn’t quite in a sleep state. I was just dreamy, listening to the sounds of the birds and insects. I miss hearing insects during the winter when I am in Idaho. I think insects are so amazing, I just love them.

Around 7a.m. I got up, called the owner about the hot tub. I asked him if there was a reset button or a breaker that I could fix myself. He said he would be by in a while and show me where the breaker was and how to fix it. I checked my e-mail and wrote my blog until it was time for breakfast.

BREAKFAST: watermelon and cantaloupe

During breakfast the owner came by and took me down to the pool and showed me where the room was to flip the breaker. He also showed me how to drain and refill the hot tub and pool if the water needed changed out, as well as where all the filters are that need to be kept clean. I was glad to get all that information so I won’t have to keep bothering him whenever anything needs maintenance.

When breakfast was over I went on a walk with my group. I had to leave early to come back and do lunch prep. As I was walking along, happily enjoying the scenery a big dog ran up to me and started nudging me in the butt. I petted it and then told it to go home. Instead the dog jumped on me and was doing a full body hump. I finally pried the dog off  and was trying to walk away from him. He kept jumping up on me. I didn’t want to run because I felt that would encourage the dog to think it was a fun game. I saw some men working out in the field and yelled for them. They yelled at the dog and it finally let go of me and ran off. Whew…it’s a strange feeling getting molested by a dog…lol.

I continued on my walk. I was feeling so peaceful, warm and happy. On the trail a ways up I saw one of the ladies that had been fasting sitting on a rock on the side of the road. I walked up to where she was and she was having a hard time making it back to the retreat on her own. I told her I would be happy to help her. So we walked up the very long last hill together. It was so great talking to her. She is one of my favorite people to talk to here. We are both so very encouraging and helpful to each other.

We made it back and I was late for lunch prep, but only by about 5 minutes.

LUNCH: banana smoothie, bananas and celery

After lunch I was starting to give one of the fasters a haircut. I heard someone say that it was Monday and for some reason I thought it was Sunday. I had a phone consult that I had to do today. I called up my client and asked to reschedule. There was no way I would be able to fit it in. I had to finish the haircut and Clarissa wanted me to be at dinner prep. We rescheduled for the next day. I finished the hair cut, except a little bit that needed to be buzzed, but the clippers battery had died. By that time I was late for dinner prep. It seems like I’m late for everything and forgetting things today. I guess some days are like that.

DINNER: OJ blended with mango; heart of palms

During dinner I was thinking about the cooking job that I wouldn’t be going back to when I got home and how I was going to miss those people a lot because I really liked them. Then I got to thinking about how I’d been having an ethical debate with myself for a while about that job, because they want me to cook them regular standard American diet meals (SAD). I would try to make them as healthy as possible and by the best quality organic meats that don’t have hormones or steroids added. Still though, I had to touch the meat and deal with the yucky smell of it cooking…thinking about burning flesh and death. Preparing meat always made me feel really mournful and sad. Now that I’ve gotten in touch with the side of me that has compassion for all living creatures, I can’t just turn that off and be indifferent anymore.

So thinking all that through I realized that I never ever have to touch meat again in my life. I felt so happy and elated! I told everyone at my table about what happened and how I felt; they were cheering. Yay! Now I have an open space in my life that can be filled with something wonderful!

After dinner I ran down and turned on the hot tub so it would be warm after the evening session, then I worked on my blog until the video. We watched a video and then a lot of  people sang. I enjoy hearing all the different voices. While the singing was going on one of the young guys who had been fasting came and snuggled with me on the couch. It was just a friendship thing only and it was nice feeling snuggling. Such a fuzzy warm feeling J

When the singing was finished I sat in the hot tub for a few minutes, read and went to sleep at around 9p.m.

 

Day 39

Woke up at 6a.m. and turned on the hot tub. I read for an hour until it was warm and then soaked for a little while. I’m not sure what I am going to do when I get home and don’t have a hot tub available anymore L

At 7:15a.m. I went and did breakfast prep

BREAKFAST: watermelon and papaya

During breakfast I had a few different interns come to me and wanted to change their scheduled work. I was getting a little bit frustrated because it seemed like so many interns wanted to be able to go on the walks and do the work outs and there wasn’t enough people to do the meal preps. I was finally able to get the schedule all worked out and make everyone happy.

When breakfast was over I did clean up and then went on a walk with my walking group.  It was a 2 hour walk. We had really fun conversations and I took lots of great pictures. We stopped on a bridge and did a few push-ups on the way up. We hiked up the brown trail, which is extremely steep, but had an amazing view at the top. On the way back we noticed a horse that seemed really hot, hungry and thirsty. The leader of our group Kevin took it’s water dish and ran down to the river to fill it up, while I gathered a bunch of grass that the horse was very happy to be eating.

One of the people here at the retreat is deaf and I was able to learn a lot of sign language on the walk. He is a great guy to talk with and he is always very patient with others when he is trying to communicate.

We made it back with about a half hour to spare before lunch. I went down to the river to jump off the rock. There wasn’t anyone else down there and I was thinking it might not be a good idea to be jumping of the rock and swimming alone. I knew I would be fine though and decided to do it anyway. I did two jumps off the rock and felt refreshed. I had about 15 minutes to just relax. I went by the pool and lied in a hammock and read until it was time for lunch,

LUNCH: banana smoothie, bananas, celery and romaine lettuce.

After lunch I called my mom. She was happy to hear from me. She said that she thinks she has a young family that wants to move into my rental house. She thought they would be perfect and had excellent references. They would be looking at the place on Saturday and she would let me know.

When I was finished talking with my mom I did a phone consult. Then I finished touching up the hair cut I had started the day before, I had to finish just a tiny bit.

Once that was done I had time to answer some e-mails. When I was checking my e-mail Grant came and got me and said that food quality wasn’t being checked good enough. He showed me how some of the food was going bad in the bodegas. I finished going through it and was happy that Grant had shown me the proper way to get it done. I didn’t know I had been doing it wrong before.

DINNER: OJ blended with mango and tomato celery soup

I told the regular evening hot tubers at dinner that I needed to go to bed early and there would be no hot tub party tonight. Some weren’t happy because it was Jerome’s birthday and they were thinking of having a hot tub celebration. I apologized about them not being able to have a hot tub party, but said I really really needed an early night.

After dinner I went straight to bed. I read for a few minutes. I was feeling really sad and unattractive for some reason. I decided I was just tired and I would feel better in the morning after a good nights sleep.

I went to sleep around 8:30p.m.

 

Days 36 and 37 in Costa Rica

Day 36

Today was our easy day. We don’t actually get an official day off. An easy day is the closest we get.

Woke up at 4:30a.m. Read for an hour and then went back to sleep again until 6:30a.m. I turned on the hot tub but it was only putting out cold water. Hmmm…I will have to talk the owners about that to see what the problem is.

Since I didn’t get my warm morning bath I took a shower instead.

BREAKFAST: watermelon

It was a real simple breakfast. Just watermelon halves, exactly how I love to eat watermelon. I asked another intern at breakfast if she knew what the phone number was for the owners because I needed to call them about the hot tub not working. This intern had stayed here a month before we got here and became good friends with the owners, so I thought she would be the best person to ask. She said that she would call them and take care of it.

After breakfast I wrote my blog for a while, then hung around the great room talking to people until lunch.

LUNCH: blended bananas, bananas and romaine lettuce

At lunch I asked the other intern what the owners had said about the hot tub, she said that she had forgotten to call and would do it after lunch. I asked her for the number and told her I would be happy to call them. She said that she would do it and I didn’t need to make the call.

I did lunch clean up and then we had a meeting about the next event, which is the walking tour. I had to leave early to do a phone consult. The consult went really well. After the consult I called my kids. Savana was very excited to talk to me. Her voice lesson teacher had told her at her last voice lesson session that she wanted her to go to singing camp and she could go free of cost. Savana was ecstatic! It was great to know that she was doing well and was happy as ever.

I called Shawn next and we made plans about him coming to live with me over the summer. He’s not sure what he is doing with his life yet and is having a hard time figuring things out. He wants to be a police officer but is not sure where he wants to go to college or if he wants to work for a few years and then go through his schooling. It’s a tough age, but I’m sure he will make it through it just fine. I couldn’t get a hold of my 16-year-old Scott, so I just left him a message.

I found the intern that was supposed to call the owner and asked what was going on with the hot tub. She said she forgot to call again. I went and asked Doug if he knew the phone number and he said is was next to the phone in the great room. Well, if I would have known that I would have called myself first thing in the morning. Oh well….so I called them up and they said they would be here in the morning to see what the problem was.

DINNER: OJ/mango juice; tomatoes; mangos; lettuce and heart of palm.

Dinner was just bowls of fruits and veggies cut up. Yay! I love eating simply like this. That’s how I eat at home. I don’t go through the trouble of making fancy meals. Just peel and eat.

During dinner it occurred to me no one had checked out the rooms that the new people for the walking tour are going to be staying in. I thought they should be looked at to make sure they were made up really nice and had clean towels and linens.

It’s a good thing I checked because there were two huge spiders in the bathroom at the cabin by the river. Another one of the interns, Jerome was with me and we were trying to come up with a plan of how to get the spiders out. I tend to be a spider lover so I wasn’t scared of getting close to them. I just wanted to be able to remove them without hurting them. Jerome went to look for something to catch them with in the other room.

One spider was sitting on top of the garbage can lid. I thought that maybe if I picked up the garbage can gently I could walk and put it outside. So I very gently picked up the garbage can, the huge spider took off and ran right up my arm. I screamed, drop the garbage can and was flailing my arm around. Jerome came running in and I just started laughing. I couldn’t believe I had screamed like that. The poor freaked out spider ran across the floor and was trying to hide in the corner.

Jerome said he was going to go get a cup and piece of paper. I stayed there keeping an eye on the spiders. Jerome came back and caught the first spider under the cup. Slid it onto the paper and deposited the spider out the window. The second spider was on the ceiling. Jerome is tall but he could barely reach it. After a couple tries he caught the spider under the cup but it’s legs on one side were stuck under the edge of the cup. I was afraid the spider was going to be hurt and was yelling for him to let it go. He looked at what was happening and lifted the cup. The spider seemed to be ok. The next try he caught it underneath the middle of the cup and was able to move that spider outside as well. We both did a high five and I felt like we had been very successful in our endeavors.

About a half hour later the bus arrived with our new guests, making our total number now 31 people. I helped bring the family that was staying in the river house down. The lady was telling me on the way down how freaked out she got about spiders. I didn’t say a word about what we had just found and removed from the bathroom. I just smiled and said that there were a lot of spiders around but you got used to them and assured here that is she came across any big brown ones, they weren’t poisonous.

After all the new arrivals got settled in their rooms, I made up my bed, read for a little while and went to sleep around 10:30p.m.

Day 37

Woke up in the middle of the night with it raining on me. I was tired and didn’t want to get up but the rain seemed to be getting worse. I slid the lawn chair under the shelter and by that time I was awake. So I read for a while until I felt tired again and went back to sleep.

I woke up in the morning at 7:15a.m. Since the hot tub still wasn’t working I took a shower. Came up to the great room, checked my e-mail and wrote my blog until breakfast.

BREAKFAST: cantaloupe

I was excited to have something new for breakfast! I dove into the cantaloupe but they weren’t very good ones…aaa…disappointment L . Oh well, that happens sometimes.

During breakfast the owner of the retreat showed up and was able to get the hot tub working again. Woo hoo!!

After breakfast I wrote my blog. I am thinking at this rate I am going to be able to get caught up on it.

I went walking with my walking group. We took it very easy today on the first day. I had to leave early to come back and do lunch prep. I didn’t estimate my return time quite right and got back with a half hour to spare before work. I thought that a swim sounded good. I went and jumped off the rock into the river. I’m thinking that I’m pretty much a pro at jumping off that rock now. Not even a tiny bit of fear anymore J When I was getting dressed, I was talking to Stephanie who had came down for a swim. I was looking at her and all of a sudden her face was no longer blurry. It became perfectly clear and so did everything in the background. Just as fast as it came it was gone. I was really excited about it though. That is twice now that has happened since taking my glasses off. My eyes are getting better!

During lunch prep I hooked up my computer to the sounds system and we listened to fun music and danced around while preparing lunch. Fun stuff!

LUNCH: blended bananas, bananas, celery and romaine lettuce.

After lunch Christie and I shared our music folders on our computers. Now I have a lot more music! Yay!! Then I did my eye exercises with Jerome and Stephanie. It felt so good sitting in the sun I decided to just stay sitting on the steps and soak up some rays while I could. After sitting for a half hour I went into the great room and finished my blog entry for the day.

We had an orientation meeting and then I went into the kitchen to set up the tables for ambiance and be a server for dinner. Being a server is my favorite job. I like getting up a lot during dinner. It drives me crazy to sit still at that time of night. I have to move my body to stay awake.

Right before dinner rain started pouring down. It was crazy rain; so heavy it looked like one big waterfall. I had a few minutes to check my e-mail before dinner. I received a message from one of my favorite clients. It is a client that I cook and clean for three days a week. In the e-mail she said that she had to let me go. I was feeling really sad about it, but I had to get to work serving dinner so didn’t have time to dwell on it that much.

DINNER: Oj/mango juice; tabouli, tahini sauce, partial dehydrated zucchini halves and romaine lettuce.

I decided to eat a more complicated dinner. It was so good. We haven’t been served any overt fats for over a month. The tahini sauce tasted so good. Clarissa said there was only 7 teaspoons in the sauce and it was spread out with enough for 31 people. So we each received very little overt fats per person. I loved the sauce spread over the zucchini halves. So yummy!

After dinner we had a slide show and Doug did a question and answer session. Doug also talked about how he was working on improving himself and trying to be more personable. I really like how Doug can admit he is human and has a lot of room for improvement.

When the meeting was over a few of us went down to the hot tub. It was barely warm. I went to turn on the heat pump and it wasn’t working again. We all soaked in the warm water for a while, but started to get cold.

When I got in bed I starting thinking about how much my life has changed in the past month. I just lost my biggest paying job, my roommate bought a house and is moving out as soon and I get back, my rental house is still empty. So my income will be down by more than half when I return home. Oh well…I have confidence everything will work out just fine.

I read for a few and went to sleep.

Days 34 and 35 in Costa Rica

Day 34

Woke up in the night for about three hours. Finally went back to sleep and got up at 6:30a.m. It was nice to not have to do breakfast prep, but I was still feeling tired. I had told a few people I would walk the loop with them at 7a.m. so I pulled myself out of bed. Soaked in the hot tub for about 5 minutes and got dressed.

We started out up the steep driveway and one of the ladies with us that had been fasting was already feeling pretty fatigued. I insisted that she stop at the gate and not push herself. She said that Doug told her to walk the loop but I overrode it and assured her that listening to her body was much more important that doing what Doug said. I told her that Doug would rather she listen to her body as well and not experience an injury. She decided that would be a good idea as well….thankfully…there was no way she was going to make it all the way around the loop. Those hills are steep. One thing about Costa Rica mountains, you are either going straight up or straight down, there is very little flat area to walk on.

We got back just in time for breakfast.

BREAKFAST: watermelon and papaya

After breakfast I went and soaked in the hot tub for about a half hour. Then I read for a while until I heard the bell ring indicating that the food truck had arrived. Today we were getting twice as much food delivered since we had twice as many people showing up for the walking tour on Saturday. There was so much food! We still had 2 more trucks coming. I don’t know where we are going to put everything.

I started working on lunch prep when the 2nd food truck arrived. It took about an hour for all of us to get it unloaded and put away. Still one more truck to go!

LUNCH: blended bananas, bananas and celery

After lunch I worked on my e-mail and then we had our closing ceremony. During closing ceremony we lie down on a mat in the middle of the room and everyone in the room goes around and says one word about the person in the middle. Grant writes down everyone’s words and then e-mails them to us later. It’s a really neat experience and I’ve been through it twice at health and fitness week.

When the ceremony was over I sat in the hot tub for about at hour until dinner.

DINNER: Doug made dinner tonight! I decided I would eat what everyone else was eating instead of sticking to my simple meals. Dinner was Oj/mango smoothie (very thick and rich!), salad sandwich made with slightly dehydrated cucumber slices as the bun and a casserole warmed from the dehydrator. It was so yummy and all the food settled really well.

During dinner we all shared memorable moments we had during the fasting and feasting part of the event. Mine were jumping off the rock, monitoring the fasters and getting to know them and overcoming my headaches.

After dinner we had an intern meeting to plan what we were going to do for the party the next day. Once the meeting was over I went and soaked in the hot tub again, read for a while and went to bed.

Day 35

Woke up at 6:30a.m. I read for a while and then soaked in the hot tub. I came upstairs and checked my e-mail.

BREAKFAST: watermelon and papaya

I did breakfast clean up and sat in the sun on the steps doing my eye exercises. The day was going to be a very busy one, nothing but food prep until the dinner party. I got my 10 minutes of sun before heading into the kitchen.

I worked in the kitchen until lunch. Everyone wanted some music so I hooked my computer up to the speaker system and we listened to music, we were dancing and singing while preparing food. While cutting some tomatoes I sliced into one my fingers. It was pretty deep. I quickly rinsed and bandaged it really tight to stop the bleeding and went right back to work. When it was time for lunch we had an hour break to eat and relax before hitting the kitchen again.

LUNCH: bananas and celery

We all had lunch by the pool since the dining room and great room were busy being decorated by the ambiance crew. It had been a while sine I at just bananas without being blended. I don’t really like to eat bananas, but I was super hungry and managed to get 7 down along with a bunch of celery.

When lunch was over it was back to work in the kitchen. We worked until 5:30p.m. We were getting ready to start dinner when Danielle came running into the kitchen and told us that Doug and Grant weren’t back yet from their run to Mount Chirripo (the highest peak in Costa Rica). They had left at 6a.m. and said if they weren’t back by 3p.m. to come looking for them. It was well past 3 and it was starting to get dark. Kevin said he would run that way and see if he could find them. He came back in a half hour and said they were fine and were about a mile away.

Doug and Grant showed up and there were hugs all around. At 6:30p.m. dinner finally got started. My legs and feet ached from standing all day. I was assigned to be a server but I really just wanted to go to bed.

DINNER: Dinner lasted forever it seemed like. I was too tired to eat and just drank a bunch of OJ blended with mango.

Dinner was served in the great room where the ambiance crew had completely reformed the room to look like we were in China. They did a good job.

In the middle of dinner we watched a slide show showing all our before and after pictures. That was a lot of fun.

Dinner was almost over and it was 9p.m. I asked Clarissa if I could head to bed and she said it was no problem.

I soaked in the hot tub for 5 minutes and crawled into bed. My body was so tired, I instantly fell asleep.

Days 32 and 33 in Costa Rica

Day 32

Woke up and checked my e-mail. I had extra time before breakfast prep and didn’t think I would have time later to write my blog so I got it done early.

BREAKFAST: watermelon and papaya

I did clean up and thought that another day of avoiding the sun would be a good idea. Kevin was conducting video interviews with all the interns and wanted to know how we felt about the intern program. When I did my interview Doug was in the room. I wanted to be honest though and so I said what I felt I needed to say. I just said that I felt it could have been a more loving teaching environment and not as harsh. Doug didn’t say anything to me afterward so I figured he wasn’t offended…oh well if he was. I don’t think it’s the first time he’s heard it.

After the interview one of fasters asked to talk to me. She was having so many emotions coming up since she broke her fast and didn’t know how to deal with them. We had a good talk and she felt much better. I assured her that it was just her body getting those hidden emotions out and that it wouldn’t last, she was strong and could make it through.

I spent some more time on my computer organizing my pictures. I’m really excited to get them all in order and easy to find.

Before lunch I went on a walk up and down the hill 4 times with some of the interns and fasters. It was a fun work out. I enjoy exercising with other people and I knew I needed to get some in since I hadn’t been doing my morning walks.

LUNCH: blended bananas, bananas and celery

After lunch I worked on organizing my pictures some more. I had spent a lot of time on the computer and started to get a slight headache. I quickly shut my computer and put on the pinhole glasses. I wasn’t about to go back to headache land!

At 2:30p.m. I started doing dinner prep with Stephanie since it was her night to prepare dinner. It was a fun group in the kitchen and we all had a great time preparing food.

DINNER: fresh squeezed OJ blended with mango.

I was really tired during dinner. I couldn’t stay sitting down or I felt like I would fall asleep. I got up and went around the table giving everyone shoulder rubs. It was fun to do and kept me awake, plus it’s a great way to make friends…lol.

After dinner I went and sat in the hot tub for a few minutes, getting nice and toasty warm. Then I crawled into my sleeping bag, read for a little while I went to sleep around 8p.m.

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Day 33

I woke up at 5a.m. I slept fantastic! I felt so rested and peaceful. It is so nice in the mornings. Sine there was plenty of time before breakfast prep I figured I could either read or do my morning walk. I decided I wanted to relax and read. I warmed up the hot tub while I was reading and when I got in it was perfect. After watching the sun coming over the mountain at 7a.m. I started breakfast prep. This is my last day of doing breakfast prep and clean up only. My headaches are gone so I put myself back on the regular work rotation schedule with the other interns.

BREAKFAST: watermelon and papaya

After clean up I sat on the steps and soaked up some sun. I was ready to get back in the sun again. It was so nice feeling the sun on my skin. I love the warm happy feeling I get from it’s heat.

When I got my fill of sun energy I came inside and wrote my blog and worked more on my pictures. Then I went and moved all my stuff down by the pool. I decided that was my permanent home from now on. While I was down there I could hear people talking down by the river. I went down to check out what was happening. Everyone was working out at the rock gym. I was looking at the river thinking that it looked pretty appealing. A few days ago I had seen Danielle jump off a rock into the water. I thought I would try that out. Even though I am very afraid of heights I always try to work through my fear and keep hoping that I will overcome that feeling. I climbed up onto the rock and looked over the edge. There is a rock in the water that I had to be able to jump past. I wasn’t sure I could make it that far. I asked Danielle how to do it and she told me but I decided that it was too risky. I climbed back down off the rock.

Danielle told me that she would show me how to do it. She climbed right up there and jumped off missing the rock below by quite a bit. Now that I had seen how to do it I was sure I could make it and survive. I climbed back up on the rock. Looked over the edge and jumped. I was sure this was going to be the end of the life. I landed in the water and when I came back up to the surface I started yelling, “I’m still alive”. Everyone on shore was cheering. I thought that was so much fun that I climbed back up and jumped again. Woo hoo!! I figured twice was enough and soaked in the hot tub until time for lunch.

LUNCH: blended bananas, bananas and celery

After lunch I did clean up and then listened as Vicki told her story. Another wonderful story of going from sickness to health, I love hearing those stories. J During the lecture I went to work on my pictures some more. I couldn’t get them to load and realized that earlier I had made a copy of my original folder. Later I had deleted what I thought was a copy of the original folder when actually it was the official original folder. Bad news was that I had already emptied my trash L Ahhhh!!! I tried a few websites to retrieve my trash, but nothing worked or they wanted money. I have all the pictures at home on SD cards. I decided to just let it go and start over with organizing my pictures when I got home.

DINNER: fresh squeezed OJ blended with mango, tomato, celery, and mango soup.

After dinner the interns had a meeting to talk about the party we were going to throw on Friday. I was really really tired and some of the other interns were goofing around. It was making me made that we weren’t getting through the meeting quickly. I really just wanted to go to bed. I was very cranky with everyone but apologized and said I was just tired. The meeting ended and I went straight to the pool. Got in the hot tub briefly to get toasty warm, crawled into my sleeping bag and went right to sleep.

Days 30 and 31 in Costa Rica

Day 30

Woke up at 5a.m. I got up and checked my e-mail. I was really tired so I went back to bed at 6a.m. I couldn’t fall back asleep, so I just lied there and tried to relax until I had to get up and do breakfast prep. I was really happy that classes were over. It was a very intense month.

BREAKFAST: watermelon and papaya

Half the interns didn’t even show up for breakfast. They were still sleeping, happy to have a morning without a breakfast class. It was so fun to have a lighthearted easygoing breakfast.

When breakfast was over I cleaned up and headed straight for the hot tub. Daniele was already down there soaking away. I joined her and we hung out at the pool in the sun laughing and goofing around for 2 hours. It was so great to be able to play and be a kid. I felt like a whole new person. Yes!!!!

LUNCH: blended bananas, bananas and celery

Lunch was another fun meal. Lots of laughter and goofing around, we were all giddy with relief that we had made it through the internship. One thing about Doug is that he doesn’t mess around when he does things. He makes sure you get your moneys worth of lessons. I had no idea that the internship would be so intense. It’s been a few years since I’ve done schooling and I wasn’t prepared to hit the books fast and hard. I did learn a lot, despite the headaches and hell that I went through.

When lunch was over Ryan told his story. I love hearing everyone’s stories. It’s so fun to hear everyone’s journeys from sickness to health. I took a nap during the lecture and when I woke up I did some things on the computer and checked my e-mail.

I realized that the skin on my face kind of hurt a little. I went into the bathroom and my face was bright red. I had been playing at the pool that morning completely nude and wasn’t paying attention to the time. Uh oh. I was afraid to see what else was sunburned. I lifted up my shirt and sure enough, I was burned everywhere. Ooopsy. It wasn’t painful except a little bit on my face, so I was hopeful that it would tan up quickly and not be too much of a problem.

DINNER: fresh squeezed OJ blended with mango and cut up tomatoes.

Another meal of laughter and fun, ohhh, so blissful. Doug noticed my sunburn and reminded me that it wasn’t a smart thing to do. Lol…like I didn’t already know that. I got caught up in having fun and forgot about being smart, that happens sometimes.

When dinner was over I got an e-mail from my oldest son with a sad face. I called him up right away thinking something bad had happened. He said he was fine but he just missed me. Sooo sweet, I miss my kids a lot too. I can’t wait to get back home and see them.

Later on bunch of us when down to the pool for a hot tub party. The hot tub was too hot so Jerome jumped in the pool and started splashing the cold water into the hot tub. We thought that looked like great fun and we all jumped in the join him. We were like a bunch of teenagers (though 2 in the group actually were teenagers) screeching and acting all crazy. So much fun! Finally we got the hot tub cooled off and goofed around in that for a while. At about 8:30p.m. we were all tired and called it a night. Guess we’re not the late night party crowd…lol.

I decided I was going to sleep by the pool in one of the hammocks. I crawled into my sleeping bag, read for a half hour and went to sleep.

Day 31

I woke up in the middle of the night very cold. Underneath me in the hammock I had put a yoga mat to keep the airflow warmer underneath. It obviously wasn’t enough. So I moved onto one of the padded lawn chairs. It was a lot warmer there and I was able to go back to sleep.

I woke up again at 5:30a.m. and turned on the hot tub. I was so warm and cozy I just lied there staring at the clouds until 6a.m. I got in the hot tub and it wasn’t very hot yet, but it was warm enough. I soaked for a while then came up to the great room and wrote my blog. As I was writing I heard some new voices. I looked up and a guy I had met at health and fitness week, Kevin was here with his girlfriend Meagan and their 2-year-old son Dakarai. It was exciting to see new faces. I showed them where their room was and went to do breakfast prep.

BREAKFAST: watermelon and papaya

It was a pretty uneventful breakfast. Everyone was welcoming the new comers and were excited there was a little person around.

My sunburn was mostly gone, just a little bit on my chest. I thought it would be a good idea to avoid the sun for the day. So after breakfast clean up I stayed inside. Checked my e-mail and organized all my pictures on my computer.

LUNCH: blended bananas, bananas and romaine lettuce

After lunch Katie told her amazing story. It was Christie’s night to make dinner and she asked if I would come help her. So I helped Christie in the kitchen for a while. I had to take off for an hour to go do a phone consult. The consult went really well. Once that was over I went back to the kitchen to finish helping Christie get ready for dinner.

DINNER: fresh squeezed OJ blended with mango and sliced tomatoes.

After dinner we had another hot tub party. This one was much more mellow that the previous night. We were all really tired. It was over by 8p.m. and I was in bed by 8:30p.m. I am enjoying my little spot by the pool. It’s so nice falling asleep watching the stars.