Hiding in the bathroom, eating rice.

October 18th, 2011

I woke up at 7 a.m.. Savana had stayed the night at her grandma’s so I didn’t have to get her up, though I did go to her bus stop and say good morning to her on my way to physical therapy. Physical therapy was at 7:45 a.m and about a mile and a half bike ride. At my therapy session there was a little improvement in my shoulder. I’m going to make it a priority to start doing my shoulder exercises on a regular basis and get serious about getting my full range of motion back. I haven’t been doing my exercises on a regular basis for a couple of months and it really shows.

After therapy I rode back home. It was a cold morning and a cold ride there and back. At least the beautiful sun had risen on the way back and was shining it’s wonderfulness on me. When I got home Anthony and “Joe” were still sleeping. I made 20 oz. of fresh squeezed oj and wrote my blog.

An hour or so later the guys got up. I made Joe some oj and he went for a walk. I had realized the night before that I had forgotten my ID and bank cards in my roommates car. I called the lady that is using the car for the week and she brought it by. Yay!

I ate half a watermelon and a honeydew melon. Then we all took off on bicycle to go play around downtown, a six mile bike ride. First we went to my ex Jonathan’s house. Joe and Jonathan really bonded and they were talking about comic books and what not. Anthony and I were restless and went on a walk. I am so glad that Anthony is visiting me. He is a very wise 23 year old.

On the walk we talked about so many things and he gave me some good insight on how to go about achieving a lot of my goals, as well as great tips about dealing with the situation going on with Joe and his girlfriend. He also pointed out to me how I was getting stronger in standing my ground with Joe and not giving into him when he gets pushy about things. Which he does. He didn’t like that I was communicating with his girlfriend and was telling me to just stop talking to her. I told him that I was going to talk to her and I was going to be dead honest with her, so maybe he should think about being honest with her as well. He really didn’t like that! Ha, not my problem! Anthony really liked that I stayed strong during that interaction. Thanks for the support Anthony!

Back at Jonathan’s, Joe was drawing a comic book character. He is an amazing artist. I was sitting next to him watching him draw and everyone else was out of the room, Joe mentioned how I was acting distant from him ever since the night his girlfriend called. I was thinking to myself…”well no shit!”, how could that not shift the energy between us? Instead I just responded with a casual…hmmm..really? Joe and I need to set aside some time and have a really good talk. I’m just not sure when to do that. I don’t want there to be bad vibes between us…at least while he is still here. I’m not sure how to tell him that I am not interested in a long term relationship with him. I guess I’m worried how he will react. I the other hand, I know that being up front and honest is more important than worrying about how someone could possibly react. I have a feeling I am going to learn and grow a lot from this whole situation with Joe. It is making me very uncomfortable in many ways.

We left Jonathan’s and Anthony and I were really hungry. We rode a few blocks to the co-op. I bought a bunch of pawpaw’s and dates. We sat outside on the gazebo and ate lunch, I ate about 6 pawpaw’s. Then we rode a mile to Flying M…my hang out. I had a 14 oz. fresh squeezed oj, while we sat outside in the sun. There was a woman sitting next to us drawing and Joe started talking to her about art. Great opportunity to get my introduction for the day in. Her name is Becky. She moved to Boise a couple of months ago from Mountain Home, Idaho. I saw a bunch of my friends while I was there and got to catch up on what’s going on in peoples lives.

We locked our bicycles up at Flying M and walked around downtown for a while. We checked out a few fun stores, I kept obsessing on wanting some brown rice. I figured it was because I hadn’t eaten enough calories in fruit for the day, but I really really wanted some rice. I told Anthony this and he said that I would be better off eating fruit…the obvious thing! We walked back and got our bikes. Joe was hungry…we stopped at a Chinese restaurant and I ordered some rice to go. Got some brown rice for myself…of course! We sat on a bench and ate. After I ate the rice I immediately felt my energy sink and my sinuses started burning. Big surprise!

We rode the six miles back to my house. On the way I wanted to stop at the fruit stand. It was 10 minutes until it closed and we were almost there when there was a lady on the side of the bike path working on her bike. There was a part of me that didn’t want to stop and help. I wanted to get my fruit! The other part of me knew that I had to stop and help. So I asked if she needed help. She was so relieved that we had stopped. Her chain had gotten twisted up when she changed gears and she couldn’t fix it. It took about 3 minutes to get her back on track and we still made it the fruit stand on time. Yes!!! Her name was Lindsay and she was very grateful for the help 🙂

With our bikes and backpacks full of fruit we arrived at my house around 6:30 p.m. Savana came home from her Grandma’s and started jumping on the trampoline with a neighbor boy. I made a big salad for myself, mixed greens with tahini/lemon dressing. Then I cooked up some more rice for Joe. I really wanted to eat more rice…so I made myself a bowl and snuck off in the bathroom to eat it so Anthony wouldn’t see me. How ridiculous is that? lol. The rice tasted really gross and I didn’t even eat all I had. I knew I was nursing old behaviors and needed to put a stop to the sneakiness and self destruction before I started rolling around in it’s malfunction and making it a main part of my life again.

I came back out of the bathroom. Threw the rest of the rice in the compost and put Savana to bed. My roommate Steve was coming home, he had been out of town for the week. So we had to move our sleeping arrangements. My place is very small and I sleep on a futon in the living room. My roommate has his room and Savana has her room. Without my roommates bed being available..which he was happy to let us use while he was gone…we decided to all three sleep on the futon and have a big slumber party. Ha! We decided that if we slept on it sideways we would have more room, except then our feet would hang off. So we put kitchen chairs at the end to put our feet on. It actually worked out really good. I was nice and cozy in the middle and had a good nights sleep.




Published byCrazybananalady

I am a transformational coach. I help people find the truth inside of themselves to live a peaceful and content life.

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