Day 3 in Costa Rica/Schizophrenic episode

Today was a very difficult but incredible day.

I woke up at 5:30 a.m. I felt groggy and my mind was “cloudy”. I felt weak physically and had no motivation. I tried going back to sleep for a while, but couldn’t seem to fall back asleep.



At 8 a.m. I went to breakfast. I was very hungry and crabby. They were serving watermelon and it looked so yummy. I wasn’t enjoying sitting there watching everyone eat. I had been fasting and drinking only water for about 20 hours. My mind was so cloudy that I couldn’t even follow what the meeting was about. It was about a half hour into the meeting that voices in my head started. I was not expecting this to happen at all. In the past the voices have only started up when I had eaten certain things. I was very scared and didn’t know why this was happening.

I got up and went to my room. I locked all the doors, went into the bathroom and cried and screamed and cried some more. I didn’t want anyone to see me in this state. How could this be happening here in Costa Rica? Why?

The voices were loud and telling me horrible things…as always…such as “go jump in the fast part of the river”, “hit your head on the concrete wall”, “pull your hair”, “claw your face”, “just sneak away and leave this place”, “run into the jungle”. On and on the voices went. I kept screaming for them to shut up. I tried pulling myself together, after all…I am the head intern. I am supposed to be a leader while I am here…I can’t be freaking out.

I came out of my room and was walking around…trying to get the voices to stop. Doug saw me and asked me to come sit by him. He wanted to know what was up, it was obvious I was not my usual self. I told him that I wasn’t doing very well and that there were voices in my head. He told me that fasting can bring things out sometimes and to take the day off. That is most of what I remember for a few hours. There are bits and pieces that I can recall.  I remember sleeping for a while, walking around, talking to a few other interns and fasters…who knows what I said.

Around 2:30 Grant came and talked to me. The voices were starting to get quieter by that time. We had a great talk. He kept assuring me that what I was going through was ok and that I was surrounded by people that loved me. Thank you Grant!

Doug suggested that I eat a little bit, like 2 banana’s blended up with a lot of water to see if the sugar would help my mind clear up. At about 4 p.m. I drank some banana smoothie. It tasted sooo good. I didn’t feel any different physically, though the voices were completely gone by then.

Right before dinner all the pain I had when urinating was gone.


Dinner was cut up papaya, mango and pineapple salad, with cucumber noodles on the side. It looked so yummy. I had some cucumber noodles and a small piece of pineapple. Instantly I felt the burning sensation come back in my urinary tract…arggg. Despite that, my mind was super clear and I felt so happy and energetic. I felt better than I had felt in months….yay! I felt joyful and vibrant again. I hadn’t felt that way since early October. I went on an evening walk and came across some little frogs. They were singing away, so cute. I sat and watched them and took a few pictures. They were a great ending to a very challenging day.

I’ve also been weighing myself every day. The first day I weighed 152.4 lbs. Today I weighed 151.2 lbs.

I’m not sure if I will continue to semi-fast tomorrow. I will see how I feel in the morning.

Published byCrazybananalady

I am a transformational coach. I help people find the truth inside of themselves to live a peaceful and content life.


  • Victoria Arnstein

    January 3, 2012 at 3:11 am Reply

    whoa..good call by doug btw…I am glad you ate..sounds like the detox was going a bit too fast (excuse the pon) for you..I am glad you are doing better..things get weird during a fast..good to know you are in a good environment for it..And very happy you are able to know what you are going through and tell him about it. Keep strong and stay healthy!
    Good luck!

    Victoria Arnstein

    • Vibrant Victoria

      January 3, 2012 at 12:11 pm Reply

      thanks Victoria. I know I am going to be amazingly strong and healthy by the time I got home 🙂

  • Robert Winners

    January 3, 2012 at 3:19 am Reply

    Keep up the fast as much as you can. Sounds like you have super support to help you break through it! Dance those blues away!

    • Vibrant Victoria

      January 3, 2012 at 12:12 pm Reply

      I am so glad I have this support. It is a new thing for me and I like it 🙂

  • Esmee La Fleur

    January 3, 2012 at 5:19 am Reply

    Hi Victoria, Thank you for sharing your experience. You are very brave. I just did a 33 hour fast and it hit me like a ton of bricks for some reason. I got extremely nauseated, my heart rate went up to 90 bpm, I felt like my whole body was filled with lead, and my brain was just numb. It is very strange how some fasts are really easy and other are so unexpectedly difficult. I have had symptoms of wheat gluten toxicity during many of my fasts in the past few years, and I have not eaten wheat for over 15 years. I think that when certain toxic elements are dislogded from our cells and put back into circulation on their way to being eliminated all kinds of bizarre symptoms can occur. A Dr. Theron Randolph, who devoted his practice to food sensitivity issues, had one patient with mild mental illness become complete psychotic in less than 24 hours when he placed her on a water fast. She had to be put into a stait jacket for 4 days so she would not hurt herself or others. After he started refeeding her, she had another psychotic episode when he introduced beets back into her diet. It turned out that she drank a lot tea with sugar and the sugar was derived from beets. Here is his book from Amazon if you are interested in reading more of his case histories: An Alternative Approach to Allergies

    • Vibrant Victoria

      January 3, 2012 at 12:09 pm Reply

      Thank you Esmee. I am sure Doug has seen many things like this from fasters before, he did not seem too terribly worried about it. I feel so much better today 🙂

  • Joe Cord Ero

    January 3, 2012 at 3:30 pm Reply

    Victoria you’ve come a long way. Everyone is in love with the transformation that–YOU CREATED UP UNTIL THIS POINT. You will be victorious at the end of this journey in Costa Rica.

    • Vibrant Victoria

      January 3, 2012 at 5:53 pm Reply

      thank you so much Joe. I feel amazing today 🙂

  • Scott Oliveria

    January 3, 2012 at 11:16 pm Reply

    I’ve been informed that fasting is likely to release any residual meds or pharmaceuticals from various parts of your body and it often adds a layer of complexity to the normal cleansing process initiated by a fast. Take care my friend and it’s great that you’re there now!

    • Vibrant Victoria

      January 4, 2012 at 1:25 am Reply

      I made it through and I’m still alive. Yay!

  • Melanie Escamilla

    January 3, 2012 at 11:41 pm Reply

    Bless you, V! We are so proud of you here at home! Sending lots of healing thoughts!

    • Vibrant Victoria

      January 4, 2012 at 1:25 am Reply

      thank you so much Melanie. I think of you often and always hope you are doing well.

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