Dear Diary and Friends,
I had a great morning. I walked to church with Angel Baby. Instead of pulling her in the wagon, we left 2 hours early and she walked pulling her little toy dog along. It took us an hour and a half to walk 1/2 a mile to church but it was a lot of fun and I so enjoy living life at a slow pace. I posted a video of our walk below.
At 2pm I headed to George’s for work. I usually don’t work on Sunday but his girlfriend is out of town and they asked me to work. On the drive there I was so tired I couldn’t keep my eyes open. So I pulled over and took a 20 minute nap while Angel watched “Sarah & Duck” on Netflix. I love that show. My friend Meghan told me about it and it is a great kids show. When I woke up I felt much better. I was late for work but George didn’t care and I knew he wouldn’t. I told him about being so tired and he was glad I pulled over and napped. Plus he had me run errands doing more driving and that nap totally made me more competent to work. I stayed a half hour late to make up the late time.
Ive been listening to Adyashanti and Rupert Spira a lot on YouTube. I am soaking it all in. Once again my perceptions and beliefs are being turn on their heads. I keep shedding more and more beliefs and “I need to be rights”. Then I’ve been thinking about thoughts and where they go when I’m not thinking them and how they magically pop up when I need them or even when I don’t need them. Then they magically go away…but where do they go????? Are they really MY thoughts or are they part of awareness which is all of us? Awareness doesn’t start or end and are thoughts awareness or something else because thoughts start and end. Do we think thoughts after we leave our physical bodies or are we just aware? Anyway…does any of this matter? Probably not.
Ive had bursts of anger towards Angel lately. I had my prayer warrior friend pray about it for me. Angel will be whining or not cooperating and I will just snap. Anger will flood over me and I will catch myself yelling at her. Then when it’s over, I will feel almost stunned, like, what the heck just happened. Then I will be back to feeling like my peaceful self. So today Angel was whining and I felt the instant anger wash over me. Instead of yelling, I stopped and felt the anger. It was intense and big. It actually felt good and I enjoyed the feeling, then it was gone in a flash. I thought, “hmmm, how interesting” and then calmly addressed Angel. What a beautiful experience.
I appreciate anger.
I appreciate slow paced walks.
I appreciate a phone call from a friend.
I appreciate church.
I appreciate naps.
I appreciate breath.
I appreciate papaya.
I appreciate the color red.
I appreciate laughter.
I appreciate donation gifts.
Thank you for being a part of my life.
I appreciate you!